Muslims Not Married in America My god,

As a 27 year old unmarried Muslim American woman, let me say, ur article is scary. someone else interacted and said, she didnt know where to start.

my two cents on this one:
it is difficult to find a man. we also dont really feel like we need men to cook and clean up after UNLESS we loved them for who they are and they loved us for who we are, that includes us, our bodies, our eccentricities, complexities etc (that is normal for all humans). many muslim girls in the US get married since they are supposed to ( i am speaking only from a S. Asian perspective...there are plenty of other muslim communities in the US) and they realize that they were supposed to get married and all that was told to them aboutit was not what it was cracked up to be and excaping their own mothers is really not enough reason to get married into another prison.

It is a problem since as an interactor put it (grunge i think), there are plenty of traditional women to marry (and consequently divorce) who are fair skinned, obedient and sub servient. good for u muslim men if that is what u want out of your life partner...its really sad that ur egos cant handle more but we have again, only ur mothers, women, to blame for that.

i want babies, i like to cook and i have a life that is my own and i am willing to share it with someone who shares my values and thoughts on life. its rally not that much to ask. and why must we worry about getting married later? aint nothing wrong with that. im fine with being a single mom too, though im not sure how well that goes down in islam. not very well culturally for sure but im sure islam is cool with it.

two cents finish.
more later
z.rizvi.

The Alternative Muslim Identity for the rest:
first, sorry for all the spelling mistakes. i am typing too fast. i pay for internet in Sri Lanka. by the minute!

ana and samina: great stuff. mera dil jeet liya since u are quoting amitabh and talking about suketu`s book (which is good stuff, i just wish he took a little bit more time and write it more...poetically? fluidly?).
the footnotes: stuff i wanted to say in the article but knew if i did, it would not be taken seriously but u know me...i like to have my cake and eat it too. im gonna have to get back to u on Homi. he makes my head spin. Spivak is no better. neither is appadurai. why cant our academics (im gonna appropriate homi) write clearly? the only two i love and can read properly are a. nandy and g. pandey.

naved and others: this is a comfortable stance to say religion is my business. i am the same way. As a politically active person living in America who was raised muslim and knows and loves practicing muslim, the private became public and very politically charged. i couldnt sit there and say allah allah khair sallah and let it just be. Does that make sense at all?

we cannot sit (I cannot) sit silently.
thanks all v. much for reading and dicussion.

z.rizvi.

The Alternative Muslim Identity Replies 5-15:

Kaalchakra: umm, ok. thanks for the kind words.

scout and miriamk: I am too political, too activist and too american to not htin about categories and labels and words like progressive. How can i not align myself with something in that states that i can see may or may not pan out into something really really freaking interesting? i will maintain that religion is a personal matter and i keep it that way. i dont answer questions about how many times i pray, fast etc. thats my business with my god. religion and politics are mixing though and i am a part of that. how can i not be?

theovangogh: HA HA HAHA. godo one. touche.

Hp: nicely said but dont u feel like that is just washing your hands off something and not paying attention to what is happeneing?

ana: It`s me talking out loud. its me trying to figure it out and laying it all out on chowk since it brings up good discussion. Somtimes one has to identify what something is NOT in order to identify it.

if that makes sense...

next...
z.rizvi

The Alternative Muslim Identity Whoa. Ok. Will take it page by page.

Samina, reply one:
I said some, not many of her ideas. I like her ideas about exploring islam. I like what she writes about Saudi adn the arab world feeling like they have some sort of monopoly over islam. i like the way she separates between culture and religion. to only site a few. i dont like how she talks about her book, i dont like at all how she talks about palestine and i dont like what she has written since in different newspapers. i think fame went ot her head and she had to kowtow in order to keep her current other spectrum face.

I only know satrapi from your list of iranians. Umm, do i think of myself in that political spectrum. I have an issue with iranians who left iran after the shah and how not muslim they want to be. its like anything that even smells muslim is awful. Satrapi to her credit, does not go that far. Her book is really awesome, i love it (the first one, not the second one). I like Azar Nafisi a lot. she could be counted in the same category as the ones u have mentioned. I dont know where i am politically. im in me own category i guess. its difficult to explain.

reply no.4: Naqshbandi: i like the idea of god. there are parts of islam i like, i would like to find a part of it that fits me, since it is what i grew up with and people i am close to really believe in it. i would like to udnerstand why and if there is a way for me to fit into it. I have a whole shia aspect and idealism that fits into my perosnal equation that i am trying to not bring into the conversation.


next page.
z.rizvi

Involuntary Closure Beejay,
wow, thanks.

i am spunky and i take the compiliment very seriously...i like to walk the walk if i am going to talk the talk. i was just trying to draw u out into a conversation.

i am still not pleased with the last lesson that u highlight. part of me feels like a sell out.
another way i was thinking about it is that the FBI and the CIA are genuinely evil as far as im concerned. aid organizations try not to be so its ok.

i was at a going away get together for one of the people leaving from here and old hands of humanitarian work were happy to see my excitement for the work. fresh blood is always good they said. good ot have the mix of experience and enthusiam. we will see how well the formula works in this case. it is really messed up here right now.
politics and humanity is clashing and its all in a few hands. lets see what they do.

thanks again,
z.rizvi.

Involuntary Closure u guys are sweet.
thanks for reading and commenting. it gets difficult day in and day out. overall amazing though :)

what r people back home saying about this? anything at all or has everyone forgotton?

z.rizvi.

Interview with the Vamp hmm..

i guess, as an american, with no real respect for hollywood, i still dont really know what to say about this.

it was easy reading. u seem to know a lot about angelina so thats helpful.

the show cute assests doesnt really work.

why was she is pakistan and did she do anything while there? even if it was `touring` camps etc?

z.rizvi.

Feb 15 Rally naeem, this is late, who knows when u will see this.
i have met u in NYC by the way..when i used to be there...soon will be back there..anyhow,

i was one of the people in the back of the march. i almost got tramped by horses. it was one the coldest but most amazing NYC experiences i have.

my friends, afraid of being detained for being illegal were leaving were packing up their apartment that day in brooklyn. i went straight from the march to their place to help them pack and to report back to them on the different slogans and mood in NYC. i knew and i dont kknwo THAT many people in NYC, but i knew every 25th person in that millions person march. it felt incredible.

wbai was all around us. it really was something.

thanks for writing about this.

zehra rizvi.

The first time I quit ozer,

umm, why all these conditions all of a sudden?
i thought i was getting a free ticket to london. no questions asked. that is the only way that i work.

can my boyfriend join us on all these fun things u have planned? he`s a writer so he will really enjoy the poetry by the fire.

:)


burpinder: so sweet. i am trying all of those. it helps. i wish that with tasting bad the cigarette wouldnt feel so good. i hate how clam it makes me and I KNOW that it is just mental...psychological. its the dirty nasty nicotine monster. aghhh!

z.rizvi

The first time I quit atif2. u so funny. u actually are. i laugh at ur posts.
i dont like boston. been there once and yeah, not a big fan. not sue what everyone keeps raving about. everyone is white with an occasional speckle of color. give me NYC anyday...everyday. so if u have anything besides boston to offer...
is that all it takes for u to be intersted in a woman. suppose im a big fat ole cow wih warts (oh wait, do have those), and boils (dont have those yet).

arstoo. i am on day 14 of quitting with occcasional cheating thrown in but still day 14. i read allen carrs book and i had to suspend my intelligence to read the book since i did want to stop. it reads like an infomercial but he has his reasons and they are pretty good. did u ever re read the book?

(do cigars count as ciggies? want one when i come home with some whiskey..mm mm).

z.rizvi.

Blood and Virtue amrita...u a NSU/GF grad? i was there as well which is why im wondering...i did film.
i thought u were.

great visuals. detailed comments later....ive been reading ur stuff in bits n pieces (sorry been away from chowk and also travelling now) and this is a change from the other stuff.

is there an email i can reach u at?

z.rizvi

The first time I quit dear adroit,

what is so offensive about the first line? (line ends with a `.` so are u sure u did not read more than just the first line?)...

i am actually a humanitarian aid worker. i rarely, if ever call myself a writer. i know too many writers to really do that in good conscience.

i love constructive criticism and yours is not. to make it so you would have to give me reasons as to why you didnt like a certain aspect of my writing rather than just calling it ********. i actually have no problems with the way u trash my writing either since u are entitled to ur opinion. luckily the chowk editors feel differently. it is always the case.

were u SO offended that u felt u had to let me know and interact? i mean, that is quite a powerful reaction then that i illicited from u. how nice.

ozer, a ticket would be nice.


z.rizvi.

The first time I quit hahaha, this is all too funny.
to answer the question did i quit. the first time i tried to quit, these first 12 hours ive written about, was like, 2 years back.
i am on day 13 of quitting. it is a process since i have been cheating but i feel like this is as good as it gets for now and i need to stop feeding the nicotine monster. it is a basic drug addiction and i dont feel like being a druggie.

ozer...dont even start. i am so badly wanting to come to london. u have no idea.

anyone got tips to stop smoking? anyone heard of allen carr and his book, the easy way to stop smoking?

z.rizvi

The first time I quit amrita,

damn. noted. with a big star next to it.

no one can argue taht smoking isnt bad for u. people do argue about HOW bad it is for u. everyone has the story of the uncle who smoked 2 packs and a day and lived to be 80 but then again, we have stories like ur dad.

stinky breath. i quit.

z.` if only it were that easy` rizvi.

The first time I quit yay, chowk put this up.

raw dust...it was an encounter...that of a paranoid persons really. i started smoking the next day as a matter of fact.

hush u are always too sweet yaar.

i love smoking. i dont know what else to say...i know its bad for me...it is, but i really rally like it alot.
it tastes awful, i know. but i love it.

im acttually on day 12 of quitting so its very apropos that chowk put this up when they have....I`ll be sending in another piece...called, when i really did quit smoking..the 14th time.

its really sad that i am such a nicotine druggie, but i am. i think i am through the worst of it though for now.

thanks all for reading. share your smoking stories...would love to hear them.
z.rizvi.

Parents and the Pill my god...

this board has exploded all over the place.

great to see these discussions...already i have ideas that have been brewing about what to write about next...

thanks all for reading and for the mostly cross intra cultural and interesting discussions..even if i have regular internet access i doubt i would have been able to keep up the pace....do most of you not have jobs ? :)

z.rizvi.