Napier’s Bride This poem has nothing to do with Karachi, or it`s present conditions. It`s message is as universal and time-pervasive as the oldest profession in the world.

You could pin it to the `Muhallas` in Lahore, Delhi, Hyderabad, Amsterdam, LA, whereever humanity is degraded.

By the way, why does everyone talk so much about the `sellers`, and not the `buyers`.

Supply is directly proportional to demand.

The price of the bride Note to Chowk Editors:

What a sensational headline!

Price of the Bride------For a political essay!

Some suggestions:

Headline for next article on religion:

Qaatil Haseena Aur Langra Shikari

Headline for article on education:

Tum Milaay Pyar Millaa

Yellow Journalism Zindabaad

American Born, British Born, Canadian Born but still Desi There is basically nothing wrong with being British, Pakistani, American or Indian(indians are so different from Pakistanis, that it is unfair to lump them all under the blanket term `desi`).

What is basically wrong is to think we are better than the others.

If assimilation consists of identification with a certain geographical area, there is nothing wrong with it.

It is a ensures survival to adapt to the local culture, customs, traditions, food and language.

The Arabs and Greeks who came to India hundreds and thousands of years ago do not call themselves Greek or Arab any more. Assimilation is natural.

It is only compromise that is a threat.

It is OK to wear the dress of the land where you live, but you must adapt it to your idea of decency.

It is OK to speak the language that you are going to speak, and even OK to forget the language of your forefathers, because it will be on no use to you, except for a sentimental value.

I arrived in the US as an adult, and adapted to the culture fully, where it did not clash with Islamic ideals.

I don`t care if my kids foret to speak Urdu(except for if they want bilingual skills), but they should be able to read the Quran.

I have give up wearing Shalwar Kameez(which is akin to committing heresy in desi circles), but I take full Hijaab, and turn away from sour remarks from desis.

Incidentally, all my friends are American Muslim, who have been a very positive influence on me and my children. I have got so used to their simple anasuming ways, that I have to be dragged to a Pakistani/Indian gathering with women dressed to their teeth, discussing latest Indian movies.

I have found God in America, and don`t miss Pakistan(though love of the country will never die in my heart).

American Born, British Born, Canadian Born but still Desi I will have to agree with temporal.

If you are doing the nightclub scene, that is the kind you will run into.

As far as being prejudiced against African American culture, let me tell you the comments of a black Muslim friend.

Commenting on the kind of Desi crowd that to came to ISNA, he was alarmed at the evident influence of hiphop on desi kids. The chains and the `african walk`.

Surprised by his comment, I asked him ``and why is it wrong to be influenced by African American culture``?

``Any influence which makes you behave contrary to the influences of Islam is bad``.

Help! Is Anyone Out There? Well, is this a Zaroorat e Rishta ad?

Then you are out of luck, because I am not gay.

I you need a locksmith or bhangi, he/she does not need to speak Urdu.

If you want a friend, here I am

Goodbye, yellow brick road.. This is the typical `empty suit` situation.

Since, teaching is the most `unrewarding job`, in monetary terms, people usually take it up when they have nothing better to do.

It helps to put food on the table, while a better opportunity comes along, or to keep you out of mischief, while you are `waila`.

It is also, the best avenue for women of `conservative background` to get out of the house and do something.

In the post ZA Bhutto, era, it was the best way to put your child through private shcool, because teacher`s children went to school free.

The schoool `industry`, also serves as the biggest for all the misfits, jahils, and misanthorps in society (the most inept teachers are usually assigned Urdu or Islamiat, hence the condition of the nation in both areas).

Therefore, it is not unusual for these `empty suits` to make a run for it whenever `better` opportunities arise.

Goodbye, yellow brick road.. Hey!

I forgot to shout it out in bold caps:

``I AM BEING SARCASTIC``

Goodbye, yellow brick road.. Think they don`t respect teachers in Pakistan?

Try teaching a term in a US public school, and you will go running back to your adorable Pakistni spoilt brats.

I have taught school in Quetta,(which, inspite of being a provincial capital is still in the backwaters of Pakistan) and I have substituted in US public schools and believe me there is no comparison between the well behaved children of illiterate, savage tribals and the absolute brats being brought up in the civilized world.

p.s. I have never done a more meaningful job than teach another human being and end up with more knowledge myself