Dina,
Thank you for sharing this with us...and please don`t listen to the new (or renewed) Chowk idiot who tells you you should have converted to Islam and is missing some key functioning faculties, namely a brain. And please do grace us with your presence more often.
I know someone has suggested here that you`re being critical of an entire ethnic group rather than an individual, and I know that`s not your intention. I think this person has missed the point, and fails to understand the pain you went through. But as others have said (especially the men), not all South Asian men are like this. Some do have the balls to rise above barriers. As my good friend has said though...we all need to be treated with the same respect we would give to our own. Being a South Asian woman, I`ve seen quite a few immature, weak, cowardly, downright arrogant and racist men in my lifetime, South Asian, white, arab, black, and I still believe there is hope for the male species, and for all of us! :-)
welcome to chowk!
ana

Damn Saddam? Farzana...
and where are you????!!! this article is soon to go off the first page (but not forgotten i assure you ;-) ) and aap abhi tak haazir nahiN huay....

The Yellow Coup Tahir:
this was good...``Partial law, or martial law, we will never reform`` is precious...it should become a political slogan if it isn`t already.
And your prediction at the end, alas sad but true. I still hope that rescue from the spilling of milk (and blood) and crying will come within my lifetime at least.
regards,
ana

Living Abroad Zermin:
thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It is unfortunate that you did not leave amreeka with a better impression, but I do want to let you know that this is not a country `where emotions and human feelings` come last for everyone. Many americans including some of us are immigrants here..some were forced in, or forced out, but for quite a number of us emotions and feelings do not come last. :-)
I could identify with you on a certain level in terms of the loneliness, and the cut off feeling that you had. I was fortunate in that I came here with my family, and had somewhat of a support system. I have lived here practically all of my life, and am forever lost amidst any crowd, be they goray log, or desis, or anyone else. I was just as lost in Pakistan as well. And while Pakistan is where my roots are, and what I`ll always be attached to, I don`t think I could ever return there to live, because as long as my elderly mother is here, I am rooted much more to her than to a land, or a feeling of well-being that I had there. We all develop support systems in order to live here, and again it`s unfortunate that you didn`t find one.
Pakistan is beloved even to those of us who are away...but Pakistan, like any other country is not perfect...i know from personal experience that there are many `back home` for whom feelings and emotions come last...as well as any sense of decency, or love for family. You might think about that in your future criticisms of amreeka. :-)

hamidm...may i just say that I grow more and more impressed with the punches you are so adept at delivering?! :-D

Antakshari anoop...this was fun to read, thanks!

{But I digress. The point is: we’re always encouraged to put our best feet forward and go ahead and do what we’re doing in front of “others”. Never mind that we suck, nobody cares. We go up there, we stick it out despite the boos and the helpless laughter, we finish our little act, take our little bows and hurry off to glowingly radiant parents waiting backstage, don’t we?
And this can lead to a whole lot of fun.}
--this is exactly what I think when I go to a karaoke bar, and destroy a Sinatra song or can never manage to sing Gloria Gaynor`s `I will survive` without sounding flat...`cept I don`t have glowingly radiant parents waiting for me...bemused friends is more like it. :-)

Rightsizing of the Armed Forces Thank you Riffat Jahan. I guess it does need to be said over and over again that a comprehensive overhaul is required of the Pakistan Army, and for them to have no power over how civilians live their lives, or policymaking.
for the rest, I turn it over to Romair and the Pakistan-India love fest.

Damn Saddam? does anyone know what objectionable statements were made in Prof. Zafar`s `Noh-i-Lock`? Or what the book is about?
not that i`m trying to divert any more attention away from Farzana`s article than has already been diverted.... :-)

Damn Saddam? it`s time to stop dignifying any of waqar`s posts with responses...just tell him to talk to the hand (you might suggest he pick a finger in the process).

;-)

Damn Saddam? and is it mere coincidence that I would say `here`s to making love more often` in the 69th post???? I think not ;-)
naughtily yours,
ana

p.s. please continue discussing skin colour and how one is lucky to be fair...i`m off to get my Coppertone!

Damn Saddam? Farzoo,
Since everyone here is going back 5000 years, or bringing dobarah ad nauseam the hindu-muslim, pak-india problem (is no article sacred?!?) might I not give my analysis of your article except to say that I was greatly intrigued by the paragraphs discussing the interlinkage of sexuality and powerplay!
Here`s to making love more often ;-)
ana

p.s. now you may all carry on.....

Maternal Suicide Yildrim:
{And what better actors, that is, fakers, than Punjabis. }

oooooh....those are fighting words, young man!!!

Maternal Suicide and now I realize Yildrim that you are the writer of this piece, and you may already be familiar with everything I just said.

Maternal Suicide Yildrim:
I believe an artistic revolution of sorts has been tried in Lahore before...by way of the theatre...I think such was the case in the 70`s...pre-Zia, Lahoris who are old enough to remember may correct me if I`m wrong. Lahore in those days was a great place for promoting the arts...the National College of the Arts is there, and wonderful teachers like the Hashmis who were also actors. Promising actors, and artists...it was quite a scene. There was an open-air theater where plays were staged...unfortunately that didn`t last...not enough support, or what I don`t know...but if memory serves me correctly, the place where such plays used to be staged is now either where the Lahore Hilton is, or some other big business monstrosity. Not that this stopped the theatre folks...was it through PTV Lahore or Karachi that they did a re-enactment of one of the Spanish playwright Lorca`s plays?

Maternal Suicide Ameer,
I agree...we Lahoris are the masters of hyperbole!

Towards Greater Tolerance Umer #213.
yaar, i wish i had read that when i was a kid all those years ago, then perhaps I wouldn`t be alone, and i`d still have a sitar, perhaps an even bigger one than the one I smashed to pieces-- an insult to the craftsmen on Ratan Chand Road, and my parents` checkbook!!!!

all levity and jokes aside...yes, wouldn`t it be nice if we could ALL go back to nursery, and we ALL had teachers who taught us more positive ways of responding to tearing a page, throwing a holy book on the ground, being ignored, what have you? From what i remember of being in school though...sometimes the positive teachers made little to no impact...
:-)

Victory? Paagal insaan...
but isn`t it true that in Arabic as well they use short vowels like E to indicate some form of possession, or perhaps they`re adjectival...or am I confusing all these languages like I did when I was in college with french, italian and spanish...that was bad enough!
love and thoroughly confused,
ana