Turkish Delight jalebi-like treats in Arab restaurants are called mahallabiya. i remember being in a lebanese restaurant and a server telling me how sweet that name sounded and how she`d want to name her daughter that!!!

apologies for the digression.

Apple, Cross and Karakuli* i like the playfulness of karakuli. and when he says `li`ji`aye` the irony of a nude man donning a karakuli alone with that response is inescapable.

more laters. love, a. xo

The Razor’s Edge as much as i disagree with harimau meow-meow`s points, and how he makes them, i have to say that he`s hit on something here! in the west coast city that i live in, there are two restaurants that are run by pakistanis, that have names such as India House, and below it `fine indian cuisine`.
and one of them has just replaced folk art...with images of sohni mahiwal, for example...with mughlai paintings. and while my mother doesn`t understand why this bugs the hell out of me, it still does.
once hatred has burned holes through someone`s heart, those holes don`t always get filled. and too many of us are walking around with these holes in our hearts.

not quite the response i wanted to give to feroz`s article, but meow-meow`s profundity was irresistible.

An Open Letter to the Editorial Staff of Chowk and DRUMZy, #152

obviously you are free to say what you like `bout temporal`s poetry, but i`m also free to tell you that you are due for a major dosage of whupass! and i`m saving it all up for when i make my grand entrance into TO, believe you me!

now beeeeehave!!!!!
affectionately,
aunty ana

An Open Letter to the Editorial Staff of Chowk chowk staff..

err, ummm, well, don`t know if you`ll actually read this before it gets posted, but there`s something really screwy going on with the posts on unplugged. they`re either out of order, or the oldest one pops up first. i saw this at the `for the love of fillums` thread as well as another one. just thought i`d bring this to your attention, in case it wasn`t something that causes a bigger problem.

*running to the closest exit*
~ana

An Open Letter to the Editorial Staff of Chowk feroz:
i had every intention of keeping away from chowk until i realized i needed to copy something from my ilog. Peeked in here, saw the usual dishooN dishaaN, and found your reasonable post among the ruins. what you say compels me to respond, but how?
i think in one of my posts i voiced the very same thing you did, that it is not just up to the chowk staff but all of us to maintain civility and bear a certain responsibility on this site. on that we are agreed.
you are absolutely correct when you say that wisdom cannot be forced here on chowk. or outside of it. and that decency cannot really be defined. it has been said time and time again that i am calling for censorship and the banning of persons from chowk. either i wrote this letter badly or people don`t read very well. i`m inclined to think i wrote the letter badly, because obviously everyone here at chowk can read, but i digress. you and many others here are definitely more patient people than some of us who have left. and i have to give what some would refer to as props but i will say `daad` to you for your patience and the way in which you respond to negative posters.
i wish i could share your enthusiasm about things changing for the better though. as long as we have posters who come here and talk about how muslims are trash or hindus and who killed more of who, and who has suffered the most (all of us have!), as long as we continue to denigrate posters by making comments about their mothers and their sex-life, chowk is not going to make a change for the better. and trying to convince hardened hearts (or those with no heart at all, but sang-e-khasht) can only go so far, then you have to wipe your feet clean of the dust of that person`s dehleez and walk away. it`s nice to have rose-colored glasses (and i mean no disrespect to you in saying that you do), but some of ours have broken, and we`re hard pressed to get them repaired, or replaced. :-) my hope is that you keep your rose-colored glasses, and not give up on part two of the Meditations, `cause in doing so, you just may turn old jaded cynics like me around!!! yes, i know only too well that life can be offensive and rude as well, but i can`t walk away from life, nor do i want to. chowk is not quite like life though, thank goodness. it has revolving doors, and elevators...well maybe on the elevators!
and given that chowk does have revolving doors, departures aren`t quite permanent (until death, that is). and i may make the occasional return to read articles by friends..which includes you. so fear not the heat of the sun. . .one old jaded fool will return at some point to humor the old sentimental one. how`s that? :-)
i hope to hear more about your trip to pakistan...read bits of it in your ilog. were you in lahore?
warm regards,
ana

An Open Letter to the Editorial Staff of Chowk Ferzoo,
i read your ilog before i got here, and have been anticipating your post so that i could tell you this: no, you have not let me down. and kuRiye i feel connected to you too.

par i just want to make this clear, everyone is going to interpret what i said differently. so i just want to tell you that i am not leaving because of anything that has ever been said to me, or this is what they did to me, and i most certainly hope that i am not in martyr mode. `tis the last thing this tough chick wants to be in! yes, i`ve given an example of something that was said to me, or something that i personally found offensive, but i`m not leaving because of THAT ferz. i brought that to the letter so that certain people who had refused to go there for obvious reasons could see what was being said.
`nyways...i should hope this won`t expand into further threads of don`t go, and you have a point about bringing this to the first page. i`m not going to apologize however for wanting this to be on the first page. as for 12-head bringing out the hypocrisies in others, perhaps, but really can`t we say `off to a few of his heads`?! and i think that you and zeeshan (since you mentioned him) have brought out hypocrisies as well.

am feeling rather tired, and kinda talked out for now, so ab chalti hooN...

aur ye bandhan nahiN katne wali. so allay yourself of whatever you expressed in the ilog, samjhi?

love ya!
ana

An Open Letter to the Editorial Staff of Chowk correction: chowk was a brave experiment. now it is fertile ground for everything and nothing.
as i`ve already pointed out to my pal zeeshan, i am not supporting censorship. i`m going to try not to repeat meself again.

and nvp2003...if you think that this letter is closed, maybe it`s because your mind is, not mine. what have you done here `nyways besides harass people and cuss us out and call us jerkoffs? yes, you do have an open mind all right.

look everyone...i wrote this letter to the editorial staff, but clearly we all have a responsibility here. we are what makes chowk happen. we contribute our articles (and i`ve been remiss...thank you Chowk staffers for printing this cynic`s protest. finally i get something published!), and we voice our opinions. i`ve argued enough with people who tell me that four letter words and mothersister gaalis are part of colloquial speech and therefore acceptable here. i unabashedly engage in gaalis meself, but i try not to do it in a public forum out of respect for those who don`t. i`ve argued enough with people who think that feminism is a filthy word, and i`ve argued enough with people who have no respect for another person`s faith. i am NOT attempting thought control here. been controlled enough in life as it is. been there, experienced that.

i appreciate that some of you appreciate that i did this. yes, some of you think i`m taking this too seriously, or think i should just let go and move on. and i will. i`ve been coming to chowk for years though. i`ve watched and heard how some people just left in disgust and moved on. like i said, i`ve been around chowk for years. i wandered in one day when it was just in its infant stages. i thought then that this place had great potential. but it`s not up to the editorial staff alone to build on the potential of this place, it`s up to all of us. suggesting responsibility is a whole helluva lot different than suggesting censorship. if you don`t agree with what i just said, that is your problem. if you find that asking for responsibility is controlling, then that is also your problem. if we can demand responsibility from our politicians, what stops us from asking it from each other?

some of us at chowk carve out our own baithaks, where we civilly talk about issues of the day, or tease each other about so-and-so. but really, chowk is like a gallery, divided into several rooms where friends and strangers go and either admire a piece, or think it`s just plain awful. i love picasso`s guernica. it does nothing for this stranger next to me. am i going to blast her for not liking guernica, or am i going to just walk away, or am i going to be interested in why she didn`t like it. perhaps she doesn`t understand the symbolism, or the context?
but then again, chowk is like our chowks back home, where we`re surrounded by various shops, sabziwallahs, phalwalles, if we feel a phalwallah is giving us a not so fresh tarbooz at an outrageous price, then we are going to tell him his price is ridiculous.
so obviously people are going to react to articles, posts on chowk differently, and that cannot be controlled.
when i asked chowk what they were going to do about keeping creative and intelligent minds here, censorship was not what i had on the brain. like i said, using choice words in a piece does not necessarily make it filth or a bad piece. if such was the case, then quite a few writers we like would be considered filth (and probably are by the moral minority). i think 12-head is an excellent example of how filth can be produced without the four-letter words and expletives. my point was that if this can appear ad nauseam on our screens, then so can a fictional piece that has been rejected because it did not follow `proper chowk guidelines`. does this suggest censorship to those of you who are using that naara?

i cannot claim to be an upholder of decency. i can claim to be more responsible in my responses than most. i can claim not to let decency out the window by making disrespectful generalizing statements about men, or hindus or muslims. but here is one not-so-responsible remark: if you all want to wade through refuse in order to find a few pearls on a daily basis, well, we all make our choices. and my choice is to move away from here and focus on what gives me pleasure, what makes me think, what inspires me to write.

and hamidm. . thank you :-)

An Open Letter to the Editorial Staff of Chowk zeeshan zeeshan zeeshan!

no, i am not encouraging a dictatorship.

and i`ll tell you the real reason i`m leaving. i`m leaving because much of what i read here is crap. with a few exceptions, there is really nothing here that is worth reading. the quality of chowk has gone down considerably in terms of that, and in terms of the interactions. it bores me. ab khush?!

i don`t expect you to agree with me, plus you and i don`t agree on much as it is anyway...but i`m not using that as a copout. i am not asking that the person representing 12-head be removed from chowk. i was merely suggesting that since all his avatars are basically saying the same thing (they even talk to each other!), that some of his heads could be put on hiatus (no pun intended). i don`t see him as a threat, i see him as an annoyance. practically everyone here at chowk does with the exception of people who think like him.

and i don`t see how khamkhwa or samina are bigger threats here. not everyone listens to them, and if they do, not everyone agrees with them. how many times does samina get into arguments here? way too many times. it`s annoying as hell, but it`s good in the sense that she gets dialogue going. bad in the sense that we never see the dialogue going much of anywhere except back in their own corners until the next argument begins. you don`t have to like samina much (or me for that matter), but labelling us as bra-burning types doesn`t get anyone anywhere, neither does describing you as a mere 21-year old bachcha who is too young to understand feminist issues. this is what discussions at chowk get reduced to ultimately, name-calling and trashing. and we call ourselves logical, mature adults? i don`t think so. and lest it be pointed out to me...i too am guilty of trash talking and reductions myself when beyond sufficiently riled. and i find that to be a waste of time, and words.
as for khamkhwa, he rises to the defense of his friends, and then once he grabs someone by their metaphorical balls, it takes him awhile to let go. or if he gets a whiff of an imposter which he has. using nicks to shield your identity is one thing, taking on a real person`s identity altogether, well that`s a whole different line to cross. how does that make him a threat zee?

which brings us to you. i know the other reason you left chowk...it wasn`t just a matter of moving on. and how is that relevant here? one of the points i was trying to make, which may have gotten lost somewhere in the forest, is that for various reasons, chowk has been unable to enforce its guidelines. so chowk will not publish a fictional piece that uses a few choice words, but might have a story to tell in a different way. chowk will however publish responses on the first page that could be more damaging and disparaging than this fictional story. where is the logic in that? even if it wasn`t the best of fiction, we haven`t read the best of fiction here to begin with. and none of us here can claim to know what that is. not even english literature types like moi. but i`m digressing. . .and i`m hoping that you can get what it is that i`m trying to say, even if you don`t agree.

i`m not asking to control information, i`m not endorsing censorship. if free speech is so valuable then chowk should do away with its guidelines in terms of controlling it. all i am saying is that just because we have these freedoms of speech and expression, freedoms that are more valuable to us because we didn`t necessarily have them where you and i came from at least, it does not necessarily apply that we abuse these freedoms. feminists and `hippies` are just as welcome here as misogynists and misanthropes and everyone in between. we don`t have to like each other but we`re blessed to make the friends we do. and yes, this is a forum. a forum where we are going to agree and disagree, but when the hell are we ever going to agree to disagree and move on, rather than disparaging each other and making comments about personal lives we know diddly about. taking Farzana`s name (and there is plenty in a name) and calling her FartsAnna, or making insinuations about your mother, or you talking about someone living in their hole are really not signs of having mature discussions in a forum. which is one of the reasons i`m leaving. i can be playful when playfulness is involved, but i`m tired of observing adults in incredibly immature behavior.

as a monty pythoner said, `and there it is`.
now you go back to blogging and leave me be!!!!!
love,
ana

The Conversion Chiaroscuro ferzoo,
oye...the bimbo must be added on as well, foran! but not being entirely sure who the bimbo was at the time, twas not done then. i will ask one of the laundas how to do so, or zee bimbette could get me info from the bapu of the laundas!
love, ana xo

The Jihad of a Humanist godot...
how are things with you?

The Jihad of a Humanist mittarji...
thank you for sharing this with us. we rarely hear about such gems. and indeed wouldn`t it be lovely if we had more of them.

The Conversion Chiaroscuro Ferzoo...
hiya! agreeing with brat here. you know i`ve read a little bit `bout kamala das recently, but these days from the eye to hawa rather than to the mind...is she just as content with her conversion as she was when she went through it?
and i`m just curious...vhy the footnote? yaar, from what you wrote about your didi, and connecting that to the letter to kamala das...intelligent readers can figure out your position, no?
and thank you for sharing about didi. :-)
love,
ana

Word Waves/ Mauj-e-Alfaaz sameeroo: re: `is this about sex?`
~only if you want it to be!

t.
akhirkaar, i get to comment on your poetry. and i have to say more than just i like it na?
the urdu does always flow more than the inglesi, but i`m not really familiar with some of the urdu words..khair, i get the sense of it.
i usually like the image of waves takraoing against the shore, repetitious as it is...so i like this metaphor, dark as it is. aur bhi kuch kehna tha par bhool gaye....

Colour discrimination sameena,
this was an article that wasn`t easy to read, and not very easy to respond to. i think you`ve handled the situation quite well so far, but was it zahra who said that mental abuse is just as awful as physical abuse.
i hesitate to make my family life here visible for everyone at chowk to read...have dropped hints here and there, but suffice it to say that i have watched someone i love more than anyone or anything in the world go through both physical and mental abuse from her husband. this woman stayed with this man, even though some of her children wanted her to leave, because a) she loved him for some bizarre reason and b) she was afraid of losing her children. She was loyal to him, took care of him through the best and worst of times and after years and years of marriage, and continual psychological/emotional abuse on his part, he left her in her golden years for an amreekan woman.
why am i telling this story? some people have commented here on the lightness of this article, but while you may be attempting lightness here, the issue is quite serious. and having brought this to an open forum, you are getting all sorts of advice on what to do....you must do what your heart tells you to do, yes, but you must also do what is best for you and your children. and i won`t tell you what you should do, or what could happen if this continues. i think you`re a courageous woman, i`m glad that you were able to go back into the workforce, unfortunately that didn`t happen for the woman whose story i told. that does help. being appreciated outside of the home is great, but if you`re not appreciated for all that you are within the chardewari, then that is unfortunate.
i, myself, have decided not to marry any desi man who wants perfection in a woman, the perfect figure, no blemishes or disabilities, no dark skin. Being a physically `disabled` person myself, i have no time or inclination for such people, be they desi or pardesi.
thank you for sharing part of your life with us
all the very best to you,
~ana

p.s. and i hope you`ll keep coming to chowk.

Haseena and Jannat (on earth) i`ve heard about the abused child becoming the abusive parent...actually i`ve experienced it first-hand. i think that one can get beyond the `abused child` syndrome, and not be abusive parents. i think that a man or woman who uses `i was abused which is why i`ve abused you` as a justification or explanation is using that as a crutch. whether they be the poorest people on earth, or the richest, if one is not strong enough to get past the abuse and see that there are better ways to communicate than flinging someone across the room, or screaming all sorts of nonsense, then yes, the cycle of abuse will continue.
I don`t know what pakfin means when he says `these abused women...` but i`m not agreeing with that statement completely.