Searching for Infantopia my2cents

You hit the nail on the head: mothers should not rely on experts, feel pressured to do what other mothers are doing, feel obligated to be ``good`` (ie society`s definition of good) moms - I believe its all individual and whatever a mother chooses to do is right.

Having helped at a ``reputed`` school, i can attest to the fact that those institutions become more of fashion runways and my-kid-versus-yours arenas than about parents being genuinely interested in seeing their child happy..

Talk to Your Wife what is everyone grumbling about...this is brilliant!

Talk to Your Wife and so is saminashas rebuttal

Universities As Brand Names i hope the writer wont mind my going on a tangent..

Saminasha to answer your question, for one they actually know my name! I mean when i was in a class of 100 students in Intro to accounting, i was just another number..there was no personal contact with the prof or a sense of ``belonging`` (for lack of a better word) I think to a very large extent its also the material being covered. Marxism, feminism, sociology are way more intense for me than learning how to crunch numbers and since the socialscience professors are engaged in research themselves, they offer alot of neat views. ALso they invite criticism, questioning, personal views (my first prof told me how social science borrows from feminism in that the ``personal`` becomes an important voice eg using ``I`` in research papers is ok etc) and are more accessible somehow. In business subjects, its all about logic and rationality and following steps, comprehending . Somehow socialscience subjects allow for more opinion, and introspection even, you look around and you can see stuff happening around the world that you study about - how great is that?!
But my biggest points would be - the emphases on approachability of prof, critical thinking, how they dont talk down, and they actually care about what you have to say.

Universities As Brand Names Anila,

Having studied at a North American University, i would have to agree with alot of what you say..indeed ``Research`` is what sets universities apart and makes one better than the other; tenure decisions are based on how many papers/books a professor has published more so than on how they teach.
Yet, research is a very important part of the university. I think the level of research a univ conducts has a link to its goals etc. Having said that, I do find it strange that Professors are not required to have a BEd or other training in the field of education itself - and yet theyre teaching at such high levels of academia

Indeed there is this ``brand``ness attached to universities. Obviously if you go to an Ivy league school, there`s nothing more ``impressive`` and if your school is God forbid a liberal arts college or univ, then youre way down there. Nonetheless these IvyLeague schools arent as bad as you paint them out to be..

Personally, when i was enrolled in a business degree, none of my professors ``engaged`` me and now that im in the education/social science faculty, most of my teachers have some sort of education-related background, i find it does make a difference.
thats a personal view though..

How to waste a day sabeen, your piece took me back to the smells of itwaar bazaar - fruits ki smell combined with this musty dust smell...:)
Faizahussain said Itwar bazaar is like Walmart..i think that belittles itwaar bazaar by comparing it to a corporate multinational giant. Itwaar bazaar is so much more..walmart is so cold and impersonal while one can actually interact and see people who make the things they sell at sunday bazaar. Poles apart. thankfully.
btw will reply soon

Azra thankyou skept and faiza - appreciate the kind words.

aha: i have a long way to go before i write something of more ``substance`` i suppose. It was an issue for me thats why i chose to write about it.

T,
i think not having formal training with writing holds me back..doesnt really do justice to what i feel. But is definitely a stepping stone and encouragement. Thankyou !

My City Bleeds Ralph
I see youre being the devils advocate - shouldnt have bothered replying in the first place..well, i just feel im a human first, and then a pakistani ; if an Indian gets killed, I dont see that as an opportunity to prove my point or make my claim, which you obviously do.

Ras Siddique,
that was beautiful..

My City Bleeds Arjunm:

The root cause is that wahabbis(taleban and all the extremist ``banned`` groups) believe killing shias gets them a place in jannat. They harbour deep hatred for shias. THAT my friend is the root cause.
In this particular case, yes perhaps it was a retaliatory attack because of the taleban having been killed the day before.Yet does that justify anything? Did those innocent people who got killed, kill the taleban? even plot to kill them? even want to kill them?
So i dont see the purpose of looking at the root cause. This barbaric killing of shias is not a new phenomenon - it has been happening for a long time.
In a strange way the goras are like the shias - theyre equally hated by the taleban (maybe shias more infact)

I dont care what people say about 9/11. 1000s were killed and it was horrible. Nothing can justify it.

My City Bleeds
``What is five Shias killed, anyway?``
You take pride in your ignorance it seems
road accidents are ``accidents``. Shias are being killed deliberately because the jaahil taleban think it is sawab to kill them. There is no comparison.

if they belonged to your family , i`m sure you wouldnt say ``what if five shias are killed?`` Every human life is precious but when innocent people are being gunned down for their beliefs, that is barbaric. and btw you should`nt even be complaining because noone in shedding tears for the shias. Discussing it sitting in our safe little dwellings is far from doing something about it.
insensitive bastard

My City Bleeds ``Still, I believe that one day, some day, Karachi will be the same city of lights that I remember`` Amen.

I just read about the shias being killed...i feel i have become immune to it by now. Met a friend who was in Bombay when the blast happened there and she said the same. She said life returns to normalcy before we know it; people say ``bomb? kaun sa bomb? acha woh! haan bohot burra hua yaar, chul abhi kaam pe jana hai``.

Of Weddings and Disney semipreciousme:

actually i agree with you - im not saying dont have fun. Infact i think the dholkis` that precede the mehndi, shadi are the best part of the wedding. I just have a problem with the Rs. 1 lakh jora, the Rs.1 lakh stage and so forth. why spend so much money on these things that are not only unneccessary (and one can get a decent stage and outfit for cheaper) , they are very short lived. What purpose does the stage done in imported flowers(that will not last long either) serve? it amuses poeple , certainly you get oohs and aahs and it dispays ones status - but why are those things even important?

Of Weddings and Disney Zahra: i think the mirror rasm is actually quite nice. i thoroughly enjoyed it and neither do mirrors cost much nor pressure the less affluent to engage in the rasm.

Of Weddings and Disney Sobia - omyGod that is so funny..announcing people`s names..
waisay hamari albums are so cumbersome and heavy.. everytime someone wants to see your pictures, you have to hawl the whole damn thing. have you seen now theyve started doing a miniature version of all the wedding photos on the first page? technalogy

Saman, yes if you try to boycott them, you end up being castigated. but thats exactly it - how does it stop?

Azure: i remember going to this second cousins place to view her ``jahez``. everything from philips food factory to the bride`s nighties were spawled on the bed for everyone to view.

Bina: i agree kuch special hona chahiyay...but the stage being done in imported flowers?! yet it is the least expensive thing i suppose..

Urstruly: aap samjhe nahi...you see everyone from the groom`s side wears yellow chunris around their necks and everyone from the bride`s side wears green...theming! maggar waisay menfolk khud kuch rangeen pehen lein to add karne ki zaroorat nahi paregi

The Largest City something about karachi in the night...you put it aptly. yet theres so much more..

``At night you can hear the city breathe
like a wounded body, in and out ``
but
``The night brings a peace not seen in the day ``
indeed.
dont know much about poems, but this is poignant. it brings images of the night sky, of seaview, and how horrible it must be to see the sea black instead of the sky..

A Broken Promise Zahir,
I knew Sibtain uncle...many a times we would go to his Kharadar clinic and be bowled over by his generousity for those who couldnt afford a doctor. He was a humane, giving man and may God reward him for that. I`m sure his loss was felt by these very people who he used to treat free of charge (who incidentally were mostly sunnis belonging to the memon community - a community that has been plagued by wahaabiism now) more than by any of us.
I know most chowkies agree with your sentiments..just wish there was some way we could reach those who should read these things.
Regards,
batool