How to waste a day ``...i LOVE sundays...nothing like getting up early ...

so do I but I loved it more when I was in school. aaah its long to have felt the real maza of waiting anxiously for a holiday. Since when I have joined University [of course, Hostel ;) ], there is no such pressure which has faded the maza of waiting for SUNDAYs and playing ``ASHES SERIES`` with friends. Now, Every day could be a Sunday if I want and I think I should carry it on till I step into the `real` world. :)

Anyway, Thanks for the nice read, Sabeen and Chowk-staph.

:) @ majnoon fakir giving the writer a sports car. :P

Do Foes of Gay Marriages Simply Fear Joy? I agree fully with tahmed32 on this. yaar! anything that goes against NATURE, is simply incomprehensible.

ahmedmadani`s traveloque was a nice read. I am happy too, about her being happy there.

Engineering One’s Passion into Profession originally posted by virtue

``Few tips for the writer:

The period comes at the end of each sentence, not at the start.
Ever heard of a thing called proof reading?
Check for spelling mistakes, especially before sending your article to Chowk.
Please do take a course in English grammar. (It has nothing to do with engineering so I think you can handle it)
Someone once said: “I keep quite and let others think that I am dumb rather than speaking out and leaving no doubt.”
So my advice to you is not to write, If you can’t. kiyoun angrazi key taNgaiN TORR rahe ho.

I thought the Chowk staff actually read these articles before posting them on this website.
This is the worst article I have ever read on Chowk! ``
Although, I am not ignoring the importance of good writing skills yet you might have discouraged the writer alot, here. You have every right to disagree with his ideas but if you could get him well, then there was no-need to address him in such tone. The writer is wise enough and knew about the kind of replies. He has already made it clear in the footnote PS`s. Plz, don`t take CHOWK as ENGLISH B paper and let us make mistakes coz daGh nahi tau seekhna nahi. :p

And mind that ALL don`t visit chowk to impress others with their splendid ideas. Most of them are here to learn from others experiences and correct themselves . plz let everyone say what and in which fashion they like to. You have this option of ignoring anything you dislike, anytime.

Your suggestion were good, waisay. I agree to all of your suggestions. Wish, they were conveyed in proper way. I somehow find this suggestion,“I keep quite and let others think that I am dumb rather than speaking out and leaving no doubt.” invalid for CHOWK. kaisay? I think this is normally suggested when someone is not among his OWN ppl. Apnay logoon ko already achi terah pata hota hay k aap kia hain, even if you say something or not. :)
Now it depends on yourself whether you feel to be among friends on chowk or ...

Engineering One’s Passion into Profession ``But excuse me there is one more thing which should be the root of the decision for a career and that is love for it .In making a decision to become an engineer or wateva INTEREST should be factor of prime importance``

Exactly. This is pretty logical and one has no other choice but to agree. As its said, usually that ``achi perhai, khauf se hoti hay ya shauq se`` I guess, the former, khauf thingie, is mostly valid regarding the kids only, but the later is valid in all circumstances.

Although, its not the point here that whether there use to be around 12 thousands candidates every year, who appear in UET`s entrance Test or it was just this time, yet let me add that only this year, the number exceeded the 10, 000 figure. Normally, it use to be less. The reason behind, was that the Entrance test was sheduled earlier than the declaration of FSc results so most of the students applied. Normally, the ones don`t try even, whose FSc marks couldn`t make any difference even if they score pretty high the Test.

PS: Just couldn`t figure out that why is this article, placed here in chaathouse and not in university ave? aisay hee khyaal aya. :)
khair, A good one and I look forward to some nice replies.

Anarkali Bazaar There is nothing in ANARKALI yet there is everything. Depends upon how YOU look for the things? oh my God! is it really that long to visit Anarkali, that I don`t even remember about the last visit. I guess, it was when I lost my EMT book and had to buy a new one from URDU bazar, that is just behind Anarkali.
hmm, Let me plan a visit to Anarkali, with friends, tomorrow. I may not visit, BANO bazar as, most of the stuff out there is related to ladies and one feel very ajeeb sa, there. :)

Lucky are the UETians, who are taken by their route buses, every evening to Anarkali and Liberty. I know most of them, just go on routes, for the sake of poondi.

Personally, I believe in poondi, only such that the one being poondified, doesn`t come to know about it. :)

The Blackout oh........, plz forgive me for posting an iLOG entry here, on main. I am really sorry for that. :(
wish, chowk-staff could remove it from here.

My Bars of Chocolate I am not `very much` sure about the girls but chocolates have got this property that you want, so many, one after another. And thats why, I used to go for the chocolate part of `BIG THREE` by `WALLs` first, when it was the end of the month where I had not enough pocket money to get another one in School.

So you were a THEETA, thats what ppl call, a person like you in UET lahore. Yes, there are so many plus points of being a THEETA. Wish, I was one of them. :)

The Blackboards First, tell me that where should I place myself? Older/middle/Younger? My number is 2nd but there are 9 more, after me. :) khair, ``oops, a cricket team without 12th player!!!!`` or ``why so many!!!`` is a separate topic. Here, I would like to share my personal experiences only. I guess, I have better relations with my Parents, especially ABBU than my elder bro or even the ones after me (excluding the youngest sister). Several reasons come in my mind.

1) Since I was better in studies and still ``am`` better coz ABBU has never asked about univ. exam results. ;) wonder why?

2) I have been living in hostels since 7th class, far away from home and use to visit my parents on ocasions like summer n winter vacations, Eids etc, only. So I get lil extra attention than the ones already at home.
......
Let me clear that I never found my parents, treating favorably or unfavorably any of us. I am also not sure about the existence of the thing called ``The Middle Child Syndrome`` but I think that to be dearer to parents depends upon the qualities in that specific child. I think ``DO RESPECT TO GET RESPECT`` applies here too.

Anyway, Heres an article ``Stuck in the middle`` by ZARA MAQBOOL, published in the DAWN`s REVIEW on 24 October 2002. I think, you may want to read.




~~~ Do middle children have it as bad as they`d like us to think? Is there any truth behind the middle child syndrome? Zara Maqbool reports.

Many parents are unaware of the existence of extensive research on how the order of their child`s birth can play a significant role in their personality as well as how they are treated by their parents and siblings influencing their perception of the world. Many parents are most probably unaware of the existence of the ``Middle Child Syndrome.`` This syndrome, according to psychologists,generates from a belief that middleborns are different from other birth positions, with different experiences and behaviors.

One researcher, for example, has suggested that middle-borns may have lower self-esteem since they are not ``unique`` like the firstborn and the youngest children. Several other researchers have suggested that middle-borns may be more likely to report that ``life is unfair`` since their oldest sibling may have ``all the rights`` and the youngest ``all the privileges``. However, researchers also report that middle-born children sometimes become experts at mediating and compromising; that is, they become skilled at playing the ``peacemaker```s role. The question that arises is, ``Is there such a thing called ``The Middle Child Syndrome``? A closer look at some middle children may help us answer that question.

Omar Ahmad a 12-year-old middle child says, ``I enjoyed being the middle sibling. I wasn`t the oldest, so I didn`t have to live up to any expectations. I wasn`t the youngest, so I wasn`t bullied as much. I think I had the best of both worlds.``

However, Rabia Zahid another middle-born teenager, has a different story to tell. ``My older sister gets all the attention because not only is she older, but she is also more beautiful. My brother gets a lot of attention because he is the heir apparent to my father`s business. I resent my parents for putting me in such a situation where I don`t count in the family and where I am just taken for granted!``

Parents might feel that their middle children share the advantages of both the older and younger siblings but they have a different story to tell. They feel that they are neither here nor there. In their view, the roles of the older and the younger siblings are more clearly defined. They may also feel cheated of the parental attention that is given to the first-born achiever and the dependent youngest child. Basically most middle children suffer from ``identity confusion.`` They feel like `I`m not the oldest, I`m not the youngest ... who am I?`

Aima, now an adult middle-born says that, ``I was part of a family but I never quite knew my place and I still don`t. I am a 32-year-old doctor and I still feel like that little child who is trying to steal some emotion, or get some validation from my mother.``

There is no doubt that being a middle child has its advantages but most middle children feel that the downside out weighs the upside.

Zunaira Butt a 24-year-old lawyer says, ``A lot was expected from me so I think I have matured in many ways. I am also more responsible and the pressure that had been on me has helped me to do better in life.`` She also believes that ``all middle children share similar qualities. All are introverts, sensitive, crave attention but are more caring, serious natured and better achievers in life.``

Basically as with the firstborn, the younger child feels displaced when another sibling is born and he becomes the middle child. He feels sad and angry about all the attention the youngest one gets. As he`s not the oldest or the youngest, he may wonder if he`s special. The middle child is racing to catch up with his older sibling and is also desperate to stay ahead of the younger one who is breathing down his neck. As a younger sibling, the child feels inadequate in relation to his older sibling because he can do more and he lets him know it. He feels competitive with his younger sibling, who is busy watching him so he can eventually do whatever he does.

Ali, another young middle-born hates his position. ``I am always pressured to do as well as my older brother and have to be the mature one who has to take care of my younger brother. What about me? I am of no importance to my family!``

Sameer a high achiever on the other hand says that , ``I feel as though being the middle child has forced me to do everything better than my siblings. It can be school, sports or popularity. I am always trying to outdo my siblings. Maybe I am subconsciously trying to get people, especially my parents to notice me. The only pitfall in this, is that parents start to expect only the best from me, and just the average from my brother and sister, which just makes them appear unfair guilty of favoritism.``

Dr Saiqa Khan, a clinical psychologist at Aga Khan University Hospital, says that birth order ``undoubtedly plays a significant role in a child`s personality`` but gender discrimination is a bigger issue in Pakistani culture. She concedes to the fact that middle children sometimes suffer psychologically because a middle child`s ``role in the family is not defined.`` The firstborn becomes the spokesperson and someone with whom everything is discussed and the youngest child becomes the baby of the family who, she feels, provides the ``humor in the family.`` The middle child is defined no role and thus suffers ``from a lack of belonging.``Also he has to play a double role; by respecting the elder one while being mature and responsible for the younger one.

Dr Khan agrees that with middle children ``expectations are greater and the margin for committing mistakes very narrow.```This is because with the first child the parents are learning to become parents and with the youngest, they are more relaxed and take things easy. ``It`s the middle one with whom parents are more vocal and strict about their demands and thus the middle child experiences greater pressure.`` Yet because of this she believes, ``most middle child end up doing great in life.``

When asked what role parents should play in all this, she says that ``spacing between each child is very important.`` She believes that there should be enough ``age difference between children so that parents have the necessary time to bond with each child.``As for the belief that middle children suffer more emotional turmoil and psychological disorders, she tends to disagree. According to new research, she says that the ``first born children are the one who suffer most from mental disorders as well as physical ones.``

Many parents are surprised that such a ``middle child syndrome`` even exists. Kanwal is a parent of three children: a 17-year-old son, a 15-year-old daughter and a 14-year-old daughter. She says that her middle daughter is always fighting with her siblings and has a very bad temper and an unpleasant disposition. ``I really do not know what to do as she is constantly disrupting the entire family. I feel that we have always been fair with her and treated her as a individual. Nothing seems to help.``

Gulshan another worried mother says, ``I have a middle child who is nine years old and is beginning to have problems in school - not turning in homework, not bringing home notes from the teacher. Her grades are starting to drop, she is beginning to fight with her older sister and talk rough with her younger brother. She has never been this way before, she was always a loving, giving child who was loved by all. I cannot attribute her change to anything in the home.``

What parents tend to forget is that the oldest and the youngest children can usually find reasons to be glad about their place in the family. But it is not so with the middle children. They often aren`t the biggest and strongest;they aren`t the babies who get away with murder; they aren`t really anything special, at least in their own minds. Sometimes they feel invisible.

The fact is that the sense of being less understood makes some middle children feel unloved. From the parents` point of view, the fact that there are a thousand baby pictures of the first child and only a few dozen of the second-born simply means that they got tired of getting rolls and rolls of film developed. But from the middle child`s vantage point, it is proof of their second-class status. In terms of sibling rivalry, the first-born may be struggling to maintain her position on top, but the middle children seemingly struggle just to be noticed at all.

But many parents agree that middle children are always the easiest to handle. This is because middle children often learn non-aggressive strategies to get what they want, such as negotiation, cooperation, or seeking parental intervention. As the underdogs themselves in many sibling conflicts, middle children often develop a fine sense of empathy with the downtrodden, as do many youngest children. Where first and last children may tend to be self-centered, middle children often take a genuine interest in getting to know other people. Being in the middle, they may find it easier to look at interpersonal situations from various points of view.

It`s easy for parents to get carried away with the first child and dote on the last, but middle children deserve their fair share of attention, too. If parents fuss over the oldest because of her great grades and the youngest because she is so adorable, what does your middle one gets noticed for? Parents need to take the time to understand their middle child. What is it that he does best and makes him unique within your family? Offer him genuine praise based on his good qualities. Also respect your middle child`s need to be different. Don`t insist on measuring him by the same yardstick that you use with your firstborn. Let him know that it`s okay for him to seek his own path. Make special time for your middle child, particularly if he doesn`t seem to need it. Middle children are often quiet about their needs; they may be more likely to withdraw than to make a fuss, even more reason to create a special place for your middle child. What is important is that parents should encourage their identity. Tell them, `You are very special to us because you are our middle child and we love you.`

By keeping birth order issues in mind, parents can build a family that draws strength and pleasure from one another. The important thing is to give each child the special attention he deserves and acknowledge each child`s viewpoint in the family`s discussions. Parents should always keep in mind that every child wants to know that he is needed and is important and this is the feeling of need that affirms his faith in the love his parents and family has for him and helps him to blossom in life. ~~~