Will the String Theory Tie Them All Together? Tobateksingh,
You know my formal physics education is even flimsier than yours :)

Gill,
So perturbation methods are something akin to series solutions where we discard the higher order terms because their contribution diminshes and also oscillates around 0 so that it converges towards a finite value?

Irfan.

The Need For Writing Across the Curriculum Urstruly,

I didn`t state the problem at all because it was one of the challenge problems stated in the article :)

Regards,
Irfan.

The Need For Writing Across the Curriculum Urstruly,

The problem was to demonstrate the correctness or incorrectness of the statement (a + b)² = a² + b². If someone doesn`t know that (a + b)² != a² + b² then just telling him/her that (a + b)² = a² + b² + 2ab isn`t much of an explanation is it? I did it using even more elemtary principles, which I suppose was the object of the exercise anyway.

Regards,
Irfan.

The Need For Writing Across the Curriculum Bina Shah,

I haven`t had any formal training in writing, even then I would like to take a stab at one of the problems proposed in your piece, namely explaining whether (a + b)² = a² + b² is true or false. My explanation goes like this:

``We have (a + b)² = a² + b² which can be rewritten as:

(a + b) x (a + b) = a² + b² (i)

Let us assume that a + b = c, and we replace the first a + b in (i) with c. This gives us:

c x (a + b) = a² + b² (ii)

Now we can see that the left hand side of (ii) can be decomposed using the distributive law, giving us:

c x a + c x b = a² + b² (iii)

Now we substitute c = a + b into (iii), giving us:

(a + b) x a + (a + b) x b = a² + b² (iv)

By applying the distributive law on the right hand side of (iv) again, we get:

a² + ab + ab + b² = a² + b² (v)

Simplifying (v) leaves:

2ab = 0

Which is clearly false except for one of the following three degenerate cases:

1) a = 0
2) b = 0
3) a = 0 and b = 0

And in the degenerate case (i) can be rewritten to eliminate the 0 term(s) and transform the equation into a true one (the discussion of degenerate cases are advanced enough so that anyone studying them would surely have a firm grasp over the original anyway).``

The whole point of this little exercise was that I disagree with the article. Writing, literature, poetry, they all have their place. But, my point of view is that they should be taught and taught well upto highschool (FSc) level. After that, only those that need writing as a primary tool in their professions (writers, journalists, literature majors) should be taught writing, the others should spend the same time strengthening their knowledge and grasp over their own domaines.

I am an engineer, I have worked in the industry, and now I am a graduate student, so I would be confident in saying I have a grasp on the issues at hand. And since I am only an engineer and nothing more, I will not venture a guess and assume I know what is needed and what is not for the curricula of other fields. Me and my Pakistani friends in grad school feel that what we lack most is a stronger base in mathematics, and most of us blame our secondary education system, specifically FSc, which is burdened with so much excess baggage and our undergraduate education, which was not vigorous enough in mathematics.

My boss (when I was working) was a brilliant man. Even though he was inarticulate and could not write well even if his life depended on it, yet, he was widely respected and revered as a professional. He was admired by his subordinates, respected by his superiors and envied by his peers, simply because of his technical prowess. Lack of writing or communication skill did not become a hindrance to his career.

The French are famous for not knowing english (or knowing it very poorly). Yet French researchers routinely write research papers in english (because research done in english has a global impact). Their research papers are filled with grammatical and spelling errors, but they are still highly regarded because of their riguour and quality. You see, in engineering, what matters is what you have to say, not how you say it.

If your rebuttal to my argument will be that these people would be more successful if they had better writing skills, then let me say that it is a zero-sum game. An increase in one domain must be matched by a decrease in another (fixed number of classes support this theory). And in my opinion, the loss suffered due to the decrease in technical competency would outweigh the advantage gained due to the increase in expressiveness.

Regards,
Irfan.

The Need For Writing Across the Curriculum Nazar sahib,

I agree with what Malik says, though to not such a vehement degree. Holding an opinion is not bigotry, but making it public (like you did) when it disparages a certain segment of society does fall under that category. I believe in God, yet I am not very religious, does my belief in God legitimize me as a target for your mockery, even to a lesser degree than the burqa-clad woman? What if I tell you that I don`t drink alcohol even though I live in a land where it is cheaper than bottled water? Would that make me laughable in your eyes, or just plain stupid? If so, would I be justified in mocking you for partaking of wine? Why does tolerance only have to mean the forebearance showed by the religious to the agnostics or the atheists? Should it not be a two-way street? Or would you rather have your cake and eat it too?

Regards,
Irfan Hamid.

Censoring Michael Moore Arjun_m:

Awesome military machine that is the US Army? Man stop spouting dialogues straight off of Fox News. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link, and the weak link in the US military is personnel. They have been producing push-button warriors for about a decade now.

The duration of `boot-camp` in the US Army is 6 weeks if I`m not mistaken, then the recruits go onto specialist training. In the Pak Army this duration is 9 months, I think it should be similar in the Indian Army.

Navy SEAL training lasts for 12 weeks, and SEALs are the most elite commando unit in the US military command. SSG (Special Service Group) training lasts 9 months, should be something congruent for the Indian Black Cats.

The German Wehrmacht during WWII, THAT was an awesome military machine. The Israeli Defense Forces, THAT`s an awesome military machine. The Pakistani and Indian armies are well-above-average military machines.

Yes, I`m sure Bush will be calling any minute to ask your advice about which Islamic terrorist regime to attack. He`ll call you my friend, as soon as he has finished eating the shit that the Iraqi campaign has become. I`m sure he`s eager to know your opinion on which new front to open to spread his already thin formations even thinner. Dream on little man :P

Regards,
Irfan.

Prioritizing Science and Technology Cool. I didn`t know Aman interacted on here as well. But now that I`ve read Topatakesingh`s profile and seen his email address for IMAG I`m convinced. Well let`s make it at Chateau d`Eau around the 25th or 26th, right now I am up to my neck in projects and exams.

Oh and by the way, I have been a member here long before Aman showed up (or maybe he changed his nick ;)). Anyways I`ve been dormant recently, for no good reason. Khair, time to wake up.

Regards,
Irfan.

PS: J`ai marre de cette putain de pays, je veux rentrer au Pakistan, il me manque beaucoup :( et Aman si tu lit ça je t`invite à Paris pour un weekend en juillet, on va visiter des bordels y plus connus.

Prioritizing Science and Technology Cheemay,

Great article. And I agree, you should refine it into a policy paper for the VTTP. A treat at the Pakistani restaurant if you can guess who I am.

Regards,
Irfan.

The Nuclear Father Ironman #13:

And from the tone of your reply can I gather that EVERYTHING was imported?

If the US had to import expertise to make its nuclear bomb, then I`m not the least bit perturbed if Pakistan did so as well. And before all of the US`s illegitimate children that frequently inhabit chowk bombard my naïveté, consider the fact that the chief of the Manhattan project (which they called the project to make the bomb) was Oppenheimer, a German scientist, the man who encouraged the US president to go ahead with the project was none other than Einstein (also a German immigrant). Another leading man in Manhattan (again the project, not the famous island with the recently reduced skyline) was Enrico Fermi, an Italian physicist, the particle accelerator at Batavia, Illinois bears his name: ``Fermilab``. The list of illustrious names is long and distinguished (most of them immigrants to the US).

When it`s all over and the dust settles, only the ends matter, not the means. The simple, undeniable fact of the matter is that Pakistan has the nukes. How it got them is a moot point. For all I care they could have come gift-wrapped with the Chinese flag on top, that won`t make them any less lethal when they are screaming earthward at six times the speed of sound. They will still feel like hellfire and brimstone. The sandstorm from their shockwave will still shear off skin and pulverize bone. The unlucky ones who are not close to the blast will still be able to see their own skin melt off with heat and radiation, right upto the moment when their retinal fluid boils and their eyeballs explode.

So my friend, like a singer once said: ``In the end, it doesn`t even matter``

Regards,
Irfan Hamid.

The Nuclear Father To the unsung heroes, for they are a legion:

I was a sophomore student at the GIK Institute when Pakistan responded to the Indian tests. About a month after the tests, there was a student trip from GIKI to PINSTECH. There we were to be given a seminar by the famed Dr. Abdullah Sadiq. Having lost my way, I reached the auditorium a bit late only to find that a lean, silver-haired man attired in a white shalwar kameez was speaking to my classmates in a distinct pushto accent. As there were very few seats left, I went to the last row and sat down with a funny looking little man in a brown tweed suit.

I thought that the man speaking was some administrative underling who would be introducing the great man soon. Slowly it dawned on me that this humble yet dignified man with the erect posture WAS the famed Dr. Sadiq. During the intensely absorbing hour-long seminar I kept cursing my bad luck at being stuck with some magoo from PINSTECH instead of one of my good friends so I could indulge in some interesting discussion.

During the question-answer session one of my classmates asked Dr. Sadiq what the combined total yield of our tested devices were. ``That information is classified, but let me reassure you that we succeeded in validating all our concieved parameters. To give you more detailed information about our devices I will let Dr. (name withheld), the head of our warhead program say a few words``. Whereupon to my great chagrin and shame, the unassuming little man beside me, in the brown tweed suit got up and began speaking. That was the last day in my life when I judged anyone by what they looked like, what they wore, or how they spoke.

Regards,
Irfan Hamid.

My Pakistan Diary: Lahore Aaya Main Othay Dil Chhod Aaya! Dost-mittar:
FarzanaVersey in #1 is obviously upset over your ``quality over quantity`` remark. If you are truly a serious believer in the doctrine, you should visit the NWFP on your next trip (I`ll show you around).

Romair #15:
``There are really only five cities in Pakistan: Karachi, Lahore, Islamabad/Pindi, Faisalabad, and Peshwar (kind of).``

How did you define city here? Please do inform me, I`d like to rectify my misconceptions. You see, for the past 25 years I have been telling people I am from a city. Clear it up for me so I can stop misleading people.

Statistically speaking, Wah (about a 40 minute drive from Islamabad towards Peshawar) with a literacy rate of 90% is not only the most literate city in Punjab, but also in Pakistan.

Regards,
Irfan Hamid.

SOFTEC 2004 Humairshah:

Did you work in Cressoft Karachi in 2000?

Regards,
Irfan Hamid.

Bus Other side of the coin:

Pornography or not, that is a debatable issue. Everyone seems to be sympathetic to Padma`s plight, and so am I. However, I give you some food for thought to chew over.

About a year ago, I visited the UAE. While taking a taxi, I started chatting with the driver who was a pathan. I found out that it had been 2 years since he had gone home. The guy told me that when he goes home his kids usually don`t recognize him (the younger ones) and in a roundabout way he let me know that his wife doesn`t feel comfortable with him either.

When I asked him why he doesn`t return, he says his family is now used to the money he makes in the UAE and if he shifted to Pakistan and drove a taxi they wouldn`t be able to maintain their lifestyles. He had tried to shift back to Pakistan a couple of years after he got married but his wife and parents dissuaded him. So now he drives a taxy from 6 in the morning till midnight every day.

Now, here`s the crux; Padma gets the gratification in the bus, and presumably, otherwise as well. In short, Padma can ``seek life elsewhere``. Whereas her husband, who probably shares a shabby apartment with about 5 other guys, has no ``scope and/or potential`` for gratification. He lives in squalor and sends out almost all of his pay so his family can have a relatively lavish lifestyle.

Regards,
Irfan Hamid.

PS: Padma also has her children with her, which can be an excellent panacea for loneliness, but her husband is the one who is REALLY lonely.

My Nephew’s Martian Retreat A.H. Cemendtaur:

You didn`t mention your nephew`s age. If he`s below 16, then I do believe you have a rocket scientist on your hands, and you can tell your sister to relax, because people this smart hardly ever conform to the mainstream.

Ironman:

Beating the pants off of Gary Kasparov and roaming around on Mars are completely different things. In chess you know ALL the constraints, rules and eventualities. Not so while roaming on Mars. Given today`s processor horsepower, a decent CS graduate could write a chess program that decimates 98% of chess grandmasters alive. Another thing that must be kept in mind is that NASA`s Mars exploration program is a budget constrained initiative. They are trying to make do with the cheapest hardware/software. Building intelligence into the rovers is something that would definitely fall outside their expense limits.

Regards,
Irfan Hamid.

A Suitable Boy In the end we all curl up and die. I could go ahead and make a generalization about women (God knows the women here have been making not too few about men), and that generalization would be: more often than not, women will not consider a man who is not rich enough a not unsuitable mate. Yes, men DO look for beautiful women as wives, and we ADMIT it. I am the first one to say that I would rather marry a beautiful woman than an ugly one (all other, or make that most other, points being equal). Women, on the other hand, will go blue in the face saying ``no no I really don`t care how much money he has, he should be nice, caring, generous, sensitive and remember to put the toilet seat down``, YEAH RIGHT.

I used to work in Pakistan. Went out with friends alot, most of whom come from middle-class backgrounds, so modest automobiles. Never once did it happen that me or any of my other friends would get any female attention. But whenever I would go out with this one friend of mine who has a very expensive car, WOW! All we had to do was stop at a red light, and we would get admiring glances left, right and center. If it were only from teenybopper girlies I would write it off to immaturity and move on. But here even aunties would glance at us approvingly, as if we had passed a certain alpha male test by driving the aforementioned vehicle, not to mention the early to mid 20s bracket of ladies who would give us sweet little smiles.

Like someone said in a post here a while back, the charm of good looks wears off after a while, after that, it`s the personality that matters. I say, womens` motto should be, the charm of good looks wears off, after that, it`s the bank balance that matters. Which reminds me of a joke that goes like this:

``A woman wants animals. A Jaguar in the porch, a mink in the closet, a tiger in the bedroom and an ass to pay for it all.``

So all you ladies on your high horses looking down at us like we are scum; pray, do come off your prancing steeds and take your rightful place ALONGSIDE us as the shallow, opportunistic, lecherous, and greedy species that we all are. Come stand by me and soil your pristine white garments in the cesspool that is humanity.

Regards,
Irfan Hamid.

PS: If you are going to reply to this and tell me I am a male chauvinist pig, don`t bother, I know that already.

PPS: Babelicious (some women think this is a liberating nick, wonder what those same women would say, or think, if my nick was ``hungstud``), I advise you drop Matthew Perry and find yourself a Bill Gates.

A Suitable Boy What I don`t understand is why people (specially women) in our part of the world, have to make such a huge issue out of marriage. Whenever I go to a family gathering all the older women can talk about is who should marry whom, who has the right age for getting married, whose getting late and such sort of useless talk.

What is really funny is that this kind of ``you should be married now`` needling doesn`t happen only with young women, but also with guys. When I became a newly minted engineer fresh out of college, most of my family`s women (aunts, elder cousins, even some women who were only vaguely related) would always corner me and begin bombarding me with the ``when are you going to marry?``/``do you have anyone in mind?`` sort of questions. All I could do was tell them to back off, I mean, I`m 22 for God`s sake, just got out of college, let me enjoy life.

Women everywhere get hung up on marriage, in Pakistan, they obsess over it.

Regards,
Irfan Hamid.