Could I Handle Two? Zahraj # 24 ``You should definitely be given a corner on Chowk. ``

ZahraJ, I have no shame in admitting that I cried when I read that. May I ask you to send an email to Chowk staff asking them to make Atif a permanent feature writer on Chowk? Thank you.

Scout # 25 ``deep down inside, atif, you know you are undeserving of this limelight``

Scout, quite honestly, you wont have to go deep down to find that. Just scratch the surface of mine and you will know that I know I am undeserving. The fact that you even read any thing written by me is flattering. Every word that you write on chowk belies your aristocratic bearings. Thank you for your comments.

Scout # 26 ``how is writing about fornication with two women `a positive change` ``

Please show me one negative thing about it.

ZahraJ # 29 ``How can you be turned on by getting a 10-minute massage?``

I know. Sometimes I even surprise myself. But then I figure, thats a lot better than what used to be the case with me in college - always turned on, massage or no massage. Thank you for your suggestions regarding Boston Club. You sure seem to have very detailed and, may I say, passionate knowledge about massages.

Salim # 32 ``Many of these same massage enthusiasts were expressing their outrage at gentlemen`s clubs``

Salim, if truth be told, we are against the rampant spread of homosexuality on chowk. We think that there is room for every kind of literary filth on chowk, including about sexual fantasies at a salon. But there is no room, and I repeat, NO room for unabashed homosexuality and targeting of men via female sounding annonymous nicks. I hope that clears any misunderstanding between you and the rest of the chowkies. Thanks for writing.

Could I Handle Two? scout # 22 ``i can PROMISE you that this `analysis` would not have been published a month ago``

And scout I can PROMISE you that I would not have cared if this analysis would not have published a month ago on Chowk. I would have found another way to publicize my findings to the research community.

Thank you for your valuable comments...

Could I Handle Two? zahraJ #16 ``I am a little surprised that the writer ended up realizing that in Venezuela. I am sure you can find many spas in your area (in the US) that offer different techniques of massages ``

Zahraj, very informative comments you posted. As for why I never explored massage in US, well frankly, I never thought of it. I would still not have thought of it had I not been offered that opportunity. And that too for free. Involving two latin girls. At the same time.

Now that I am no longer a massage virgin, would I look for a massage parlor in US? Hmmm...I think its a toughy. I just dont know enough about various massages, and my first experience wasnt all that. I think it was the idea of being touched, rather than the pleasure of touch itself that gave me the rise (so to speak).

Thanks for your comments...

Could I Handle Two? scout #18 ``this article is not `humorous` at all..... more like an entry from a horny teenager`s blog``

Scout, you are right...on both counts. It wasnt intended to be funny. It is a factual analysis of having sex with two girls. It illustrates that since pleasure is a function of actual touch as well as anticipation of touch, it is very hard to enjoy when your mind is getting distracted with multiple unsynchronized touches. Contrary to what they show you in group sex movies, reality turned out to be much different.

As for the horny part, I am not sure why you state it in a contemptuous manner. After all, it is a natural human instinct. In fact, if a person cant get horny, he/she has a chemical imbalance for which he/she should see a doctor. So Scout, we should be very thankful that we all have the ability to get horny, pretty much on demand.

Thank you for your comment...

Could I Handle Two? kulharee #13 - ``Atif, working on your big beer belly, the girls were also probably thinking of having sex with 2 men at the same time. ``

Evidence proved otherwise. Not only that the two girls walked on their own free will to my sofa, they also exchanged several smiles with me during the course of massage as I alternated between groans, grunts and giggles.

Faisal # 14 - ``btw i wonder what are the options for a massage in pak?``

Fortunately, there are. Unfortunately, they mostly include men. Barbers in many punjab cities would also do head & shoulder massage. And many barbers, when they are not busy circumcising in their part time, also work as ``malushia``. Although it seems a bit dosconcerting, but many men in punjab do occassionaly employ malushias.

Could I Handle Two? HP # 6 - you read it right. Indeed it was my first massage - something that left an indelible mark on my life. when going gets really tough in Boston, I often find solace in reminiscing the day when I became the object of attention for two girls. Although I did not get much pleasure out of it, I sincerely hope that the experience left two girls fully satisfied.

Could I Handle Two? faisal #7 asks ``i would like to find out if its kosher for married men to get massage from women who are not their wives? ``

Faisal, unless you are going to massage for what HP seems to be suggesting, then although it might be more ``fulfilling``, it may not be kosher. However, if you are going to massage from a physical therapy perspective, then it would be same as you going to see a lady doctor.

Now I know, I wouldnt have any issues if a lady doctor sees me. Frankly, thats the only time I can drop my pants in front of a lady and not get slapped. Although I do get a lecture that its not necessary to drop pants when all you in is for sore throat and flu check.

Could I Handle Two? I congratulate Chowk staff for making this decision to publish this article. However, this should be just the first of many steps in assuring all of us non-intellectual commoners that Chowk belongs to us too.

The irony is not lost on me that this article is published next to the article where its author with below average command of religion is making a scholarly case about changing Islam as it exists. Serves him right, I say.

Bina #3 writes ``EW.``

Bina ji, now you know how I feel when I read your articles. Except that your socio-economic articles about Pakistan are far humorous than any thing I can come up with.

Superstitious Me: Pappu decides to marry for Allah Chowk staff: I suggest you keep this article permanently etched on the front page of this site. Articles like these are not written every day.

And for those who object to the sexually suggestive content of this article, I say to them: take it easy. There is more lewidness in a single post by Mantolives bashing Islam and anyone who dares converting to Islam than anything I can come up with. In fact the obscenity of some of his articles reaches a point where even I start blushing. Imagine that!

Thoughts on Life Before Death mannyd # 10 asks ``How did I do Atif?``

well, let me put it this way: I have had more throught provoking conversations with myself in my bathroom than you are having with your `self` (or as they say in Urdu - hamzaad) on chowk.

Thoughts on Life Before Death So get this: here is hamzaad`s article. and look who do we have here to interact: hamzaad himself in # 1, hamzaad himself in #2, and Jang who is found on just about every board that is ignored by mainstream interactors. my theory goes that jang is insecure about interacting with mainstream interactors. he would rather play tennis all by himself. that way even if he loses, there is an equal chance of him winning too.

Black Pakistan and White Pakistan ranjit # 428 ``We hindus know how to take care of ourselves. We are peace loving and tolerate a lot but only upto a point``

And quite frankly, Providence has not given you any choice BUT to be `tolerant`. You `tolerated` 700 years of mughal rule. You `tolerated` seeing much of your population getting converted to Islam and Christianity. You `tolerated` losing a giant piece of `motherland` to Bangladesh and Pakistan. You have been `tolerating` the rising expense of maintaining control over the small state of Kashmir. And whether you like to admit it or not, you are doing a wonderful job of `tolerating` Behram`s wayward habit of offering you sugarcanes.

So my question is: what is that point where you get up and shout ``I am angry as hell and I am not gonna take it anymore``?? For Bhagwan`s sake, another 100 years and you will back under some other dynasty from west !

In case you dont know, a popular guessing game among the students of history is ``who from western people is going to rule india next?``

WAKE UP!

Black Pakistan and White Pakistan NB - while you are a bald, middle aged, divorced man impersonating a woman, let me advise you: dont indulge in stupid comments. As behram has been making it abundantly clear, stupidity on this board is punishable by a sugarcane from Behram`s stockpile. And Behram does not seem to be in any particular worry over running out of that supply.

If there is ONE thing we have failed to impart on you hindoos, it is this: if you are getting sugarcaned, its ok to retreat so as to live to fight another day. Why must you all stretch to death in the same sugarcane field?

Black Pakistan and White Pakistan My sincere advice to Injuns:

Do not throw insults at Behram. He is merely just another being in the long line of people from west who tried to bring you some civilization. Therapy is never painless. Your $500 billion IT industry aside, Behram will take you kicking and screaming to the promised land - a land where you may still be ugly, actually where you definitely will still be ugly, but where you will at least garner some self-respect.

Give Behram his due respect for undertaking this gigantic task.

Black Pakistan and White Pakistan A very sincere question: Is there not a SINGLE hindoo who can make a `respectful` stand against this lone wolf behram?? Would all these hindoos just stand idly by while behram continues to use his seemingly endless supply of sugar canes for hindoos?

All this goes to underscore the view that I have always held and often stated on Chowk: hindoos can continue to excel at java programming, but they will always need a manager (from other cultures) to whip guidance in them.

Language of Power: How it is getting more exclusive I am of this opinion that grammar, vocabulary or writing style are really just the mechanical aspects of a language. Putting ``meanings`` in writing is an entirely different matter. So for example, although Mantolives writes in perfect english with hardly even a spelling mistake, yet his posts are some of the most non-sensical ones posted here. So obviously, having a solid command of english is not helping him.

Just the other day he opened a thread on unplugged in an english more suited for prep and Ivy league educated elite than a self-styled aspiring lawyer in Lahore. But then he crapped all over when he suggested, using his full command of language and an astonishingly powerful vocabulary, that Yusuf Yohanna converted to Islam under ``duress``. And that his conversion was a ``slap in the face of every Pakistani``.

I tapped on my very limited english language command to eek out three words: ``Please provide evidence``. Unfortunately, despite his vast grasp of English and bottomless reservoir of vocabulary, Manto has yet to come up with an answer to that.