A Nomad Among the Bedouins jang # 8 - I think that puts into perspective the hesitation of sub-continentals to venture far from their homes...when you come back you have to be purified via rituals - as if wandering away brings evil.

the urdu word ``awaara`` is often used for boys who venture far from their mohallas and streets to see what is on the other end of the city. i suppose it is this desire to not be considered ``awaara`` that keeps us tied to our homes, and kitchens (rolling my eyes). By that definition, europeans are the most ``awaara gard`` people.

A Nomad Among the Bedouins dotty #9 - the ``becoz its there`` part is very apt. It was uttered by Malory, the first (unconfirmed) person who is though to have conquered Mt. Everest in 1924. When people kept asking him ``why do you want to conquer that peak``, his response was ``because its there``. Malory`s body was found after nearly 75 years...frozen and well preserved in the slopes of Mt. Everest.

It also reminds of an story I read somewhere. During the 18th century Ottoman era, a european wandered into Ottoman lands in north africa. He asked a shepherd ``look, i came all the way from europe to learn about you and your lands. Why dont your people go to europe and learn about us?`` The shepherd responded ``I dont need to go anywhere. I am already there``.

And of course that mentality led to the decline and end of Ottoman empire.

A Nomad Among the Bedouins #4 - no jang, Safeena is NOT the name of a goat...

there is an important point i raised in this article: why do pakis not conquer K-2 every year? Why is it that dozens of europeans each year go through the processes of visa, fly half way around the world, and conquer a peak which is in OUR backyard?

A Nomad Among the Bedouins I congratulate chowk staff for having the literary acumen to pick this article for publishing. In doing so, chowk staff shines brighter than the author.

#1 / #2 - the word ``soft`` should be understood in its appropriate context. We may be rugged and hardened within the context of our surroundings. But a desert like Empty Quarter is an entirely different ball game where toughness takes on different meanings.

Serial Killers...The Dark Side of Humanity Pakihunk had posted a thread a few days back about our need to know if there were any convicted sex offenders in our neighborhoods. Of course ``sex offense`` is not the same as ``offensive sex``. The former is a crime, the later is a virtue.

Anyway, I would like to propose that we on chowk also require convicted liars to be registered as ``truth offenders``. There are several ways to go about it. The one I suggest is that each time they log in to chowk, their nicks are given a red color. This way when we see various postings on chowk, we would know which ones are from a convicted liar so we can shield our children from those posts.

This is the most urgent need of chowk today. We would not want a teen like TonkeePonkee to learn telling masterful lies from convicted liars. The next thing we know, she would be telling us that there was a cricket match between India and Pakistan but Indian team wasnt there.

Your urgent attention to this matter is required. We cannot trust our children to play around on chowk safely while convicted liars and their sleeper cells continue to live like ordinary people amongst us.

Regards

Atif

Serial Killers...The Dark Side of Humanity Dear Dr. Sohail -

Please excuse me for straying off topic, but I have an urgent and important question. I have a very close friend on chowk, lets call him M-Lives to protect his identity. M-Lives is a serial liar and has recently been convicted in the court of chowk opinion. He claimed to NOT have seen Mullahs in a recent pro-democracy rally in Lahore, even though the next day newspapers quoted two mullahs who made speeches in the same rally.

In addition to his rampant lying, he also has developed some acute personality disorders. While mullahs are invisible to his eyes even when they walk by him, for some reasons he still manages to see their ``hands`` and ``foot prints``. He keeps screaming everyday that he sees mullah`s hand and foot prints in every negative activity that is going on in Pakistan.

Dr. Sohail, could you please advice as to what remedies I could have my friend take to become healthy again? Should I take him to an exorcist who can beat the jinn out of him?

Help!

Sincerely

Atif

Killing Fields No More - One Week in Angkor, Cambodia kulharee sahib, in fact there IS a mosque in Siem Reap. It is in a house and regular prayers and juma is offered there. when you walk past that pub street, and walk towards where there is a row of cheap guest houses, there is a halaal indian / pakistani restuarant, owned and operated by a guy from faisalabad. i talked to him for a while. while in pakistan, he wanted to set up a business in vietnam but it was very hard to get vietnamese business visa. so instead he set up the shop in cambodia. he had about 3-4 cambodian waitresses (labor is dirt cheap) , all of them looking good in shalwar kameez. but the business wasnt that brisk, as the restaurant was a little out of the way from the main downtown drag - the pub street. i was also quite impressed that in 2 years he had learned khmer language.

Killing Fields No More - One Week in Angkor, Cambodia That was a well written travelogue. Hope you had a chance to go up the hill to watch Angkor Wat at sunset. It is beautiful and haunting.

You used the word ``sad`` a few times and I think it is a very apt word for Cambodia. I found it to be a sad country, with sad history and sad people. I thought poverty in Siem Reap was shocking. But that was before I visited Phnom Penh. The utter poverty and depravity of Phnom Penh stays in your mind long after you have left the city. To see the dirt baked children, picking up food from filthy heaps of trash is heart wrenching. A few sick european and american men take advantage of that poverty by engaging in child sex.

I have better memories from Siem Reap - especially those traditional eating places where the entire families seem to work from morning till evening. Every food item is priced from $1 to $5. God knows how many fresh coconut juices (50 cents each) I had each day. And my visit to floating village in Tonle Sap was made more memorable by the heavy downpour for about 1 hour, while I sat in an uncovered boat on the lake.

A moving moment for me was when I visited a surrounding village in Siem Reap one evening. I could hear beautiful Khmer music at some distance. I followed the sound and came upon a group of musicians who were blinded and handicapped by the landmines and bombs. There were old and young in that group, playing various types of instruments. The oddity of the moment - that these victims of the cruelty of humanity were now earning their living by creating the most beautiful artistic impression was ironic. It was their way of triumphing over the misery life had thrown them in.

I bet even God sometimes marvels at the unconquerable soul of human beings.

Chowk is 9 Today I stumbled upon chowk exactly 2 years ago as atif1. Within a span of 21 days of interacting, I managed to get myself banned. From then on, I learned my ropes to stay afloat, even though at times I came precariously close to getting banned. There were a few times when I sat down at my computer not knowing whether I would be able to log into chowk or not.

Having said this, I must admit that before I was introduced to chowk by a friend of mine, my sexually laden intellectual discourses were limited to expressing them through emails, conversations in friends` houses, and during women`s support group sessions in a local liberal arts college. Chowk taught me how to be articulate in my intellectual discourses without necessarily crossing the borders of sexual harassment - a persistent problem I faced in those women`s support group meetings. Along the way, chowk staff was kind enough to publish 3 of my ``writings``, and a couple of photographic galleries.

Chowk gave me an audience whereby I could get my thoughts grilled. Now even my critics acknowledge that my articles and ilogs awakened their ``child within``. It is sad but true...when I stepped into my adulthood and noticed how grown ups acted, I subconsciously refused to grow up. Although I had no control over my physical growth, and god knows I am amply endowed, I could and did control my mental growth.

And so I thank chowk staff for giving someone like me a medium to express my thoughts, misgivings, and inhibitions. Most of all, I thank chowk staff for letting me be what I am, most of the times.

Happy Birthday Chowk! And Happy Birthday Pakistan!

Let\'s Kill All The Moslems If history is any guide, time may tell that this ``apocalyptic`` plot to blow up 10 airliners did not exist...or at least, it did not carry the severity that it is being credited with. Time may also tell that this was just another ploy to cause diversion from the massacre in Lebanon, the rising deaths (US and Iraqi) in Iraq, and the rising national sentiment in US against the right wing extremists who run our country. With nothing but bad news coming from all fronts in this election year, it was time for a huge diversionary tactic to terrify a questioning public on the right track. These well timed diversionary tactics are nothing new, its just that in this era of instant tea, fast food and one night stands, our attention span has become too shortened to connect the dots.

1. When Clinton was nearing impeachment due to his blow job sessions, he changed the front page news by throwing some missiles at a pharmaceutical facility in Sudan, alleging that it was ``the largest chemical weapons facility in Africa``. For weeks afterwards, american media was awash with the analysis of chemicals that were allegedly being made at that facility. Every chemical expert worth his weight in sarin was speculating about how a small dose could have killed a few million New Yorkers in less than 2 hours. Later investigations over the years told us it was all an utter lie.

2. Remember a few months ago in London where police shot a man who allegedly had chemical weapons in his house and created all the media buzz in US? Yeah, that man is free.

3. How can we forget the mid-morning live news conference that Ashcroft called to tell us in chilling details how he had saved us from annihilation via ``dirty bomb`` by arresting Jose Padila? 5 years on and there still are no charges against Jose. In fact, if it werent for the huge embarrassment it would cause, he would have been freed years ago.

4. Remember the ``real and present`` threat that was averted by the arrest of ``Miami Seven`` 3 months ago...where this gang was forming an ``Islamic Army`` to start a ``ground war`` against US? Yeah, after the media cum fest of wall to wall coverage, and the intended purpose of terrorizing Americans into line was served, that news has dropped off the coverage. ENTIRELY!

One thing is clear in all the incidents mentioned above, they were stage managed to scare american public into following a line and to generate the necessary headlines to push a certain agenda. The fact that most of the ``intelligence`` of the current scare comes from US/British agencies is hardly comforting given their assurances to us that Saddam was 45 minutes away from making a nuclear weapon.

If we were lied to so often, we would even stop believing our parents. Yet we are so trusting of this cabal of thugs that has brought so much war and mayhem to the world.

It is time to put an end to this terror show by putting in place an independent world body which should have complete authority to investigate these incidents so that we the citizens of the world can take our smoothies and hair gels to the planes.

A New Middle East Chowk is rife with rumors that Zeemax in fact carried out his threat and killed Tahmed after forcing him to reveal his chowk password ``homersimpson``...and that the person now posting as ``Tahmed32`` is in fact Zeemax...trying to cover up his crime.

For concerned chowkies, here are a few sure shot ways to detect whether the person behind ``Tahmed32`` is really Tahmed, and not his murderer Zeemax.

1. Enter posts under nick ``tahmed32`` in your stupidometer. If the needle hits the red zone every 2nd post, then this must be Tahmed himself. No matter how hard Zeemax may try to act like Tahmed, he cannot reach the level of stupidity only Tahmed can.

2. Watch for key phrases repeated over and over again...such as ``say this to me in real life`` and ``paste for me where I said this``. Only Tahmed can use these highly pussified debating techniques.

3. If the person behind ``tahmed32`` is using quran to bash quran, then it must be Tahmed himself.

4. Finally, here is the most sure shot way to detect whether the person behind ``Tahmed32`` is really Tahmed: his posts exhibit gleeful admiration for delhiwala bordering on hero-worship. No self respecting person can admire delhiwala. Even Salim has to go tongue in cheek before admiring him. In fact, Salim had to put his tongue against his cheek so many times that now his permanently protruded cheek appears to be a frozen frame from a blow job session.

So yeah, if Zeemax has indeed done the deed and is masquerading as ``Tahmed32``, it is only a matter of time we find out.

The Pakistani Fast Bowling Enigma Only if life were as simple as feeding a quantifiable criteria in a computer, printing out the top 12 performing players in domestic cricket, asking them to pack their bags for the upcoming test series, and be done with it! If we did that before the start of every test tour, then we quite possibly will end up with a new team every 3 months!

PCB is right in coming up with a criteria to rate players in domestic cricket. It is a good start to lessen nepotism and to bring to light those players whose domestic performances otherwise would remain unknown. However, having a criteria to rate the top players in domestic cricket is one thing, selection into the national team is an entirely different matter. Author seems to have mixed and confused the two.

The fact of the matter is that of the thousands and thousands of cricketers who play in the domestic team, only 1 or 2 get a chance each year to join national team. There is something called ``team chemistry``, which is built after players feel some stability. Imagine the likes of Lara always having to worry about their place in team due to a bad patch in their career and what would it do the morale of the team!

Deranged Arranged Marriages may # 6 ``my uncle married without our families consent (not tellin us that he was) n when i found out abt it, i was so shocked i cudn`t even eat. now wat gud is this kind of marriage goin 2 do except create probs 4 every1.``

Whatever this marriage ends up being, you can rest assured that it would not create any problems for YOU. As for your not being able to eat when you found out that your uncle married, god forbid, without family`s consent - well, you can get back at him by getting married in as arranged a manner as possible so HE cannot eat for months. In fact, make your marriage so arranged that the writing on your car would say ``Just Arranged``, instead of ``Just Married``.

Asad, good job man!

Change Management:Marx and Muslims tahmed # 33 writes ``It is indeed true that Bush and Blair are having to eat crow on things like the WMD. However, even the eating of crow requires a certain level of intellectual honesty and to learn from one`s mistakes. Most muslims - let alone the mullah omar`s of the muslim world - have not reached that stage yet``

Tahmed sahib, that is good to know that Bush and Blair come across as intellectually honest to you after murdering 150,000 innocent civilians over ``things like WMD``. I wonder if you woud extend the same accolades to your daughter`s rapist, after he admits to ``things like rape``. He would come across as ``intellectually honest``, wouldnt he?

I hereby suggest an annual award - ``Tahmed`s Award for Intellectual Honesty`` - given on a monthly basis to chowkies who admit to their mistakes.

Why Aren’t Muslim Women Converting to Christianity? Ayaan is from Somalia and now a member of Dutch parliament. She also is a former muslim, having converted into Christianity after 9/11. Her book, The Virgin Cage is on prominent display at the local bookstores. The other day I leafed through it. It turns out that of all the get rich quick schemes out there today, writing a book about Islam as the source of all evils and miseries in the world is still the most popular one. This book depicts Muslims as a kind of alien specie which has invaded the peaceful earthlings and now the human race must fight to get their planet back. Ayaan even goes to the extent of laying out a step by step guide for Muslim girls on how to run away from their homes.

After reading through these kind of books over the past few years, I am beginning to wonder how peaceful, bountiful and colorful this world would be if only Muslims ceased to exist. There will be no wars. Instead of gunfire, the streets of Detroit, Rio and Baghdad will cackle with children`s laughter. Adults will develop a habit of breaking into impromptu dances in the streets. Cities will be decked with flowers of all kind, with butterflies fluttering around. No one will go to bed hungry or without having his/her fair share of sex - a taboo in Islam. Discrimination against minorities will cease to exist. Unemployment will dip to zero and the companies will add chauffer service as part of job offer. Department of Human Services will replace Department of Homeland Security. Strippers will no longer get raped. Mothers will no longer have to discipline their children by scaring them that a sunni wahhabi jihadi or a shiite radical will kidnap them if they did not do their homework. And the poets will spread out in the vast blue and green canvass of this earth to write such poetry that would make even the most hardened heart leap into trance.

All that is possible, if only the Muslims cease to exist.

South Asia Needs a Bomb-less Deal Dr. Hoodbhoy - I have followed your ``pacifist`` views over the years with a cringe and amazement. You even went so far as to say that pakistan should dismantle its nuclear program unilaterally! Your detractors claim that you have been trying to become the ``Gandhi`` of Pakistan, and perhaps position yourself for a Nobel Peace prize. Well, after this nuclear deal between US-India, your wait for Nobel has gotten a bit longer.

When you say that post US-India deal ``Pakistan’s ruling elite is confused and bitter``, you are cleverly hiding how YOU feel. This is a slap on the face of pussification...errr...pacification preachers like yourself who thought that the world was about roses and morning chants of ``Give peace a chance``. ``Live and let live`` sound really good when talked about in the confines of a classroom or in the company of attractive flower-wearing female peace activists. But here is the real tragedy - there is a WHOLE BIG world outside the confines of the classroom and, sadly, that world does not let weaklings live out of goodness of heart.

This world is about might is right. It is the law of the jungle that prevails. If Pakistanis want to live free, they have to develop weapons that guarantee their freedom. If Iranians dont want Tehran to be like Baghdad, they have to develop nuclear capability - FAST! Treaties, conferences and resolutions are good in terms of PR and if it allows you to further build your power - like in the case of US-India treaty. It is good to have peace in your back pocket as a last resort, in case you lose a war.