Blatant plagiarization: This is an article by Ayaz Amir published in Dawn. Check the below link.

http://www.dawn.com/weekly/ayaz/20050225.htm

Uproar over a Cartoon? On a serious note, you brought these on your self. By becoming a ``client state`` of US in war on terror lost whatever self-respect as a nation. I was reading in a Pak editorial that one US senator had in the past said, ``Pakis are people who`ll sell their mothers for a 10$ bill``. So why would anyone give respect, be ``friends`` when a 10$ bill will do the trick. That`s what is happening.

Nawaz Sharif I feel did a much better job resisting the world pressure post Pokhran-98 while Mushy is forever prostrating and licking Uncle Sam`s soles-just like a dog. And how you treat dogs? My uncle told me how contractors would call on him with offerings to get Govt contracts and favours but he never accepted anything. He told me that once you accept you`re subservient to them and next time the same contractor would call in the middle of the night when you`re sleeping with your wife and ask you to get his job done. He was telling me not to be corrupt ever always be true. If only Mushy was advised like this post-911 when he betrayed taliban just like that.

So as cayenne would say, wake up and smell the coffee. Pak is really an old hound with its leash firmly in US hands. And nothing you say or do can change that.

Uproar over a Cartoon? What`s idiotic and offensive there? It`s the ultimate endorsement of your loyalty to Uncle Sam. So all you cousin fuckers should be proud of yourself.

Gay Men and Mischievous Boys Masti is derived from mast which means being sloshed. A sher Ghulam Ali preludes his gazals.

Mae teri mast nigaahi ka bharam rakh lunga
Hosh aaya bhi to keh dunga mujhe hosh nahin

Cheers

Parents and the Pill Re: # 243

Harish,

Sex-free utopia? I`d rather have free-sex utopia. Once in an all-male beer party we realised that we were spending half our salaries on our girls in return for bi-weekly (once in 2 weeks) sex and some cheap but supposedly sentimental gifts. And in most cases the girls were earning themselves. And thanks to Indian tax laws these girls had better take-home than us. Fcuk those who say it`s a man`s world.

Zehra,

Nice account. In chowk reading an article is only half the fun. The other half is in reading interesting (and sometimes absurd) comments. Anyways..

Talking of sex-education, it`s the GUYS who dont get it at home. Most of us learned the science from 9th std biology textbooks (CBSE folks please rise!) and later learned the art from pictures and videos. I remember my cousin who at 12 didnt know that girls are not born with an appendage. Imagine his shock when he saw a new-born baby girl and the embarrassment that accompanies him to this day (and the baby girl who`s a young woman now). It`s a fav story in all our family get-togethers; told and retold.

From my side, first time I heard about periods I couldnt believe it. Not till my sister explained me the why, what and hows of monthly periods as told to her by my mom. Sex is not a taboo but sex education is, esp. when it comes to guys. I`m sure my dad would clarified certains things if I had asked him. But no dad`s gonna take you aside and show you pictures like in West. No way.

But girls have mothers who tell them everything they need to know, and more. They learn to behave like ladies in a social setting and to dwindle papa`s salary. Poor Papa (or Abbu in Zehra`s case) is the foolishly loving and indulgent father who willingly sacrifices his and his son`s basic needs but ensures her daughter`s closet is full of latest clothes, jwellery and various beauty aids. I remember my father quoting previous yr`s marksheet to deny me things in the current year.

Such is the kind of tortured and deprived childhood of an avg Indian guy. And just what happens when he`s finally independent and earning? He promptly sacrifices his independence and his earnings like I was saying at the begining.

Cheers

No Retreat I like this ``navel to kneecap`` funda. Amazing book man, better than Encyclopedia and MBD guides. Those who wrote kuran assumed like you are animals to be telling you how to cover your bodies. Indeed if you take out the kuran your average mullah will look like a wild beast with his dishevelled hair, body odour and all.


The most remarkable thing however is Syed Chacha giving fundas on democracy.

[The first principle of democracy is to accept whichever group wins the elections and not be sore losers. If one looks at the Pakistani population, regardless of their misconceptions of Islam most of them favor the Islamists]

So according to Syed Uncle`s First Law of Democracy, Pakistan wants an islamic theocracy. And he says ``First Law`` as if there are 2nd and 3rd laws of Democracy! Reminds me of Catch22 and Yossarian ROTFL..

The Call Now another one:

Mat pee daaru masjid mein, (repeat this 3 times for effect..)
Thodi jo bachi hai kahin khuda na maar le!!

And the gem from Harivanshrai Bachchan:

Duniyawaalon! kintu kisi din aa madiralay mein dekho,
Din mein holi raat diwali roz manati madhushala..

Cheers

Soapbox Sania #207 by FarzanaVersey

Synopsis to Synopsis:
1.In the first para author comes out clean about where she is coming from, yet (surprise!) she is equated with the mullahs.

First para means nothing. If anything it means you`re a liberal freak (in your own words). Liberal muslims dont invoke the name of allah publicly, so it`s hardly any surprise that you dont. Also, that people are commenting are reading more than just 1 para.

2.I have objected to Sania using religiosity. The good folks here often complain about precisely that about other Muslims.

Why shouldnt she? What`s this holier-than-thou attitude. And instead of supporting her you`re siding with these `good folks`, why? Could it be that you also have a stereotype Indian muslim in your mind? The Other. And in reverse corollary you consider yourself an archetype liberal muslim. Could it be?

3.Her father is trying to turn the clock back by talking of longer skirts and long sleeves. This should be bothering you people, for it negates the achievements of several Indian women in sports who have managed without being covered up. I mentioned Nafisa Ali precisely to drive home this point.

His father talking about long skirts doesnt bother us. And `we` dont think it negates the others achievements. I bet he doesnt even know who`s Nafisa Ali. What`s father supposed to answer when these aajtak guys in their sadak-chaap hindi frame a que like, ``Aapki beti itne chote skirts mein khelti hai, aapko kaisa lagta hai?``. He could well be just making conversation. He may have said a lot many things before and after touching on long skirts who knows?

4.I used quotes from a secularist rather than the usual suspects, and it is he who talked about the renaissance via the tennis skirt, not I.

As clear from my response above, we should rather pick essence than mere quotes. You advised us didnt you, that we read the entire article first. And even from his quotes I could only assume that he`s quite impressed with Sania`s achievements. And I was amazed by your inference following his first quote. In another time, Sania`s parents would have saved a cut-out of Prafull Bidwai`s article: ``[Sania] has come to embody a number of aspects of modernity, freedom and rationality `` Wow!..

Soapbox Sania Ballukhan mia,

Indian mullahs dont gang up to disrupt ladies events so Sania Mirza need not worry. As for her interviews and promotional campaigns - it`s all ``managed`` to make her a big brand. I once read her manager`s interview; In two yrs time, he said, she would be earning as much as Williams sisters-whatever her ATP rankings. (No one wants to talk to her coach, hehe!)

[Great. Why does he not start with his daughter then? Since this family has been shouting from the rooftops about their commitment to Islam, why don’t they begin this movement for the Islamic Tennis Revolution? It is unlikely to happen because they know that the big brands will not pay for a Sania without visibly toned legs and arms. And because Imran Mirza is lying]

FV,
Me thinks you are more concious of Sania`s religious identity than the Mirzas themselves. I say, what`s ur frigging business how they choose to grow up their daughter hanh? Do you really think big brands are advising Mr Mirza on the importance of his daughter`s legs? At least I didnt see any ad where she`s posing indecently. These companies have better sense of Indian sensibilities than you think. From the look of her ads, she`s being promoted as popular school girl,tomboy of the neighbourhood or ``India ki beti`` as evidenced from save-the-girl-child campaign. And thankfully for her, and for all of us, these camapigns have greater visibility and reach than your frigging articles.

That`s one thing I hate about India`s ``progressive`` muslims. They downplay their identities. They dont want to be associated with other muslims who are not upto their `class`. So RK Studio`s holi is widely covered but SRK never invited friends and media to celebrate muslim festivals. I hope Sania would break this trend. I`d love to see our sat TVs beaming live pictures of her family celebrate id.

The Sweltering Sky #2 by vagabond78

Chowk Staff,

Hungry kya? You ate up most of what I had written in my post :)

Farzana bibi, my point is if you look closely there are many refugees who made India their home and are quite happy here. Hippies in Himachal, Tibetians in HP/UP, and the most famous refugee of all Dalai Lama; srilankan tamils as pointed out by some; Parsis and Jews if you have an eye for history. If this article is about ``humanitarian aspect`` then it`s not too bad when looked at totality.

I s`pose this article is about the suffering of Bangladeshi muslims in Nizamuddin area. How they are being denied their basic human right of turning our cities into trash. How BJP and Shiv Sena are harrassing them because of their religious identity. How these ``fascist forces`` dont even have ``decency`` to build concentration camps and are burning people right there on the streets.

And now, that the Congress is back muslims can breathe easy. Fcuk the fact Manmohan (and all parties) came out in support of Modi during the visa issue. The fact that UPA was to be SPA (S for secular) but got cold feet at the last moment. Why, if they are so sure about their secular beliefs? But I`m digressing..

Let me say that I feel for Jaffer, Hakim and Zuleika. But the point is, in the Indian Constitution, Aha_Snark, refugees only have right to life. Nothing more. Sri Lankan refugees werent even allowed outside their camps while Tibetians are freely roaming round the country. These distinctions ARE made and refugees cant ask for fair treatment; right to equality.

Cheers

The Sweltering Sky Considering that you`re always fascinated by the Other Side, I`d love to see you research on the gypsies of Himachal. They are illegal immigrants too. Those who came on 2 month tourist visa and been staying for 10 yrs.

A Space of One’s Own #130 by ntsyed,

Syed Uncle, dont throw your muslim morals on me. You do all kinds of dirty things in your home but dont talk about it. But when you see others talk you cringe in horror. Why? Because you are civil, civilized men. My foot!

For vulgarity, go check the verbal diarrhoea in your previous posts. How civil you were to your fellow muslim tahmed!

As for liberty and women, tribal women in Chota Nagpur are more liberal than Hillary Clinton. They manage their large families, their tribes and they have no scruples going topless. They make love with abandon and at will. Of course they dont know arabic so in your book they are ideal cases for convertion. Indeed, lots of missionaries are busy teaching them christian morals and bible.

Those who dont know individual freedom and dont respect others freedom talk about stuff like `our women` and `your women`. If you all respect each other`s women-whatever it means-then what`s Beena writing in this article hanh? Your Indian colleagues will tell you that women are much safer (and freer) in Mumbai than in predominantly muslim Karachi. Being free is more important than being safe. With freedom comes responsibility and you take precautions for your own safety. With no freedom your women are insecure and feel vulnerable, and depend on you for their safety, and that`s why your talk of `our women`, `your women` as if they are commodities. Subjugating women is civilised. Wow!

``A prostitute is the most liberal woman``

When you`re walking home dead of the night and a woman comes up, winks at you and says, ``aata kya?``, you recoil. She`s dirt to you. Woman with no morals. But if you set aside your sense of morality you`ll see that it`s only individual freedom theory at work. She`s just another free, confident, liberal woman on the job. And it takes guts to be in a profession thats counter to the prevailing social values.

``As apparent from you ID..``

Oh please!! Dont judge people from their ids for christ`s sake. I know appearances matter very much among muslims. Bearded men in salwars are religious. A modern, westernised woman is a whore, even if she`s your nephew`s wife. I know all this.

I love being a cynic, so more often than not I just kickass and move on. I`m not this articulate usually. It`s tiring.

Cheers

Dereliction of Duty Aishwaria Rai is the only one who can get Mushy to shed his uniform. So please forward this to MMA, PPP and others. She`s your deliverer :)

A Space of One’s Own Temporal, tahmed,

Im mumbai he`d be called Abdul Hatela. Jiska sarak gaya hai.

Syed Uncle,

Your mother, sisters, sisters-in-law, mothers of your children, and your daughters, daughters-in-law, nieces, and ya your nephews` wives Christ!, all are very nice women. tahmed is crazy to think they could remind you of sex. I`m sure no woman can make you think of sex. In medical terms it`s called lymphosarcoma of the Josh and Hosh - incurable disease of the sexless.

Cheers

The Dour Ascetic #26 by khamkhwa

She`s is not going anywhere. We gonna see a revolution and Ferzana chasing these traitors to the Arabian Sea ;)

A Space of One’s Own #107 by ntsyed

There`s a diff in saying:

a) A prostitue is the most liberal woman.
and
b) Most liberal woman are prostitutes.

If you dont know the difference then dont expose your ignorance by asking what it is.

However if you do, then you`re not worthy of a back-handed slap you fully deserve.

This is boring.