A tribute: To Revathy Gopal will miss you revathy... a really gentle person, with a kind word for newcomers.
cma

Fake hi bj!

honest, nothing forked out so far!!!

absolutely delighted (and partly shocked) to find the piece published. loved all the comments you guys made. look forward to more... even if they are the hatao-ise-yahan-se types...!

and a huge lol for azure`s

``good. must. amit. tahera.
ha.``

neembu, i agree with the self-indulgent muttering bit. only wish the bhang part too, had actually happened...

thanks tahera...

cheers folks!

A Thousand Cuts dear jawahara

your article has left me speechless.

since my understanding of issues related to religion and culture is very rudimentary, i fail to understand quite a few interacts that have been posted so far. what is the interaction all about? i think i need to be a more discerning reader on chowk to understand the tone and undertones of the dialogue that goes on here. in the name of a response to a well-researched article on female genital mutilation, we have a word-war going on ...

it reminds me of the righteous look on the face of the soon-to-be-sacked employee in the naukri.com ad who spells out his boss` name as ``H for Hitler, A for...``

suddenly there is a huge debate going over the ``diagram`` of a female genitalia! also about the intent behind the posting. apart from finding it in ``bad taste``, we also have people who want it be removed, hidden and what not. well, to think of all the discussions and ego-fights that this part of human anatomy provoked ...!!

from the few interesting interacts i recall one about your style of writing. and it is true that the article begins as a truly engaging stroy... it continues to engage but no longer remains the story said by the little girl. style and story telling techniques apart, i think it is brilliantly written.

these are the questions that come back to me jawahara - why do men fear the woman`s body - her very sexuality - so much? why have they been obsessed with and engaged in an ageless quest to hold control over her...?

Neglected Victims dear shridhar

your article definitely made for an interesting read. it raises quite a few pertinent questions and provokes individuals working on child rights towards putting in a response...

i understand and identify your anguish at the way the boys have been or not been rehabilitated. though i feel that the article does not look into the other aspects of rehabilitation processes, which require a sustained, continued and steady stream of support from all sections of society.

i feel the article very comfortably rests the burden of responsibility of the care and protection of neglected children on NGOs and to some extent the govt. it clearly excludes the other citizens, adults of the state from being stakeholders in the life of the child.

it means that i as a citizen can stand at a distance and cluck sympathetically, maybe even ``feel`` tremendously for children in need of care and protection. though, not do anything at all.

that means i the citizen, (read not a ngo/govt worker) should be a part of the exploitative system that abuses the child, and say, ``why doesnt somebody do something to help out this poor child``?

that is why organizations like childline, apart from the thousands of supportive calls, also get calls from people saying, ``there is a child lying here in a pool of blood. he has met with a serious accident. please come and help him.``

as you rightly say, the efforts of the ``few`` concerned ngos and activists are mere drops in the ocean. that is because, it is bereft of a larger social support from people. like this article, people too feel that it is the responsibility of ngos to identify, voice, struggle, demand, bring about change ...

ngos are a part of the social system, they are not here to take over the role of the government. they are not substitutes for the government.

they are more of catalysts in change processes. their role is more of giving a pace and direction to development processes.

you ask what can be done. beginning from you, since you write so strongly on issues related to child rights, i think that an increased interaction with people who work on child rights will support your writings. and consequently add to the growing awareness on the rights of the child.

thanks again shridhar for a good read.

An Unfulfilled Desire i forgot to sign out last night.

it seems somebody has written in for me. thanks pal!

regards

seema

An Unfulfilled Desire Re: # 32
seema
writes
nonsens
write
everyody can
but live search self
`

An Unfulfilled Desire dear kulharee

LOL !!

hey man, why are you so anti-``I``?

i wish even i had somebody to throw that protective ring around me, like yu have done for dee...! i understand and respect what you are trying to say - creating space for LISTENING in a site which is highly interactive, and which provokes you to give in your say, ALL THE TIME...

am sure would like to hear what dee has to say to your posting.

Anonymity for Sexual Assault Victims dear nauman

i found the opening para of your article very powerful. you introduce your subject with much conviction.

i also like the way your article ends with a question - one that does not ask for an answer.

in these times of breaking news, nothing can match the sensationalism of a ``scoop`` on the ``brutral rape and / or murder`` of a 9/20/52 year old``...

the intrusion keeps growing - hordes of mediapersons stampede into all possible spheres that belongs to the victim: her home, family, friends, distant relatives, employers, and even her milkman who may give in a juicy bit of snippet on how she apperead on the morning of the crime...

as it seems to me, victim anonymity in terms of respecting and maintainig the privacy and dignity of the hurt individual - has gone to the dogs.

equally painful is the way the media allows an analysis of the ``moral bearing``, ``character`` and what all of the woman-victim. and also thoughtfully go on to include the voices of `shocked residents`` of the ``so and so colony`` where this woman was raped.

i think we need to keep talking about rights more often and more persistently...

Different Strokes Re: # 4

dear saminasha

look forward to your comments ...

seema

An Unfulfilled Desire Re: # 27

dear kulharee

you got it right!

i firmly agree with your opinion.

though, i tend to disagree with your initial statement, ``your own life has little relevance to how other people live.``

believe me, it has worked the other way for me. forget the people who are close to me, i draw a lot from even people like dee, who i just happened to interact on a website...

and surprisingly, dee`s life has come to be of relevance to me. of course, it all depends on how you (once again!) define ``relevance``...

thanks for the titles!

An Unfulfilled Desire dear dee

i married when i was 29. at 22 or thereabouts, when most of my peers were busy getting married and having kids, i chose not to get married. i did not want to at that point of time.

some years later, i met someone i liked. and then, considered the option of entering into marriage. i did not feel the least inhibited in shifting from my earlier decision. to a great extent i weighed all the pros and cons and told myself, ``let`s go into this, live this up, give it my best shot and see what happens.``

the same will apply to motherhood, if i feel like it in the future. i have been a development worker, dee. and my close interactions with children have made me understand that it is not necessary to be a biological mother to feel motherly. any child can be my child, any child requiring protection, love, care and comfort is capable of transforming me into the most protective mommy you ever saw...

it`s all very subjective. it all depends on one`s definition of motherhood. and my definition certainly ensures that i never regret this decision in my future life, even at an most advanced age...

wish you luck for your adoption process.

An Unfulfilled Desire dee and all the others

i wonder at all the supportive conversation that you are having with each other. you guys are really capable of holding up a good support system! this is going to be one long posting and let me begin with myself. as you see, personal is political...

part of my wonder is because of my own anti-mom stands. i have never felt like having a baby. despite the fact that i chose to work with children, making them a part of my life. their presence in my work and life makes existence immensely meaningful. but i could never bring myself to be completely persuaded by the ``world`` to go and have a baby, since ``it is the most natural thing for a woman to feel once she is with a man of her choice``.

i cannot recollect the number of times i have been singled out as a freak, for having publicly said, ``i dont want to have a baby!``

well-wishers have constantly reminded me of my biological clock, ticking away furiously. most of them, mothers themselves have given the loudest sympathetic clucks. but what really got on my nerves were the women who had not yet earned the coveted title of a ``mother``. if the have-been-moms were annoying, these not-yet-a-mom girls were positively avoidable! thier ``i am an incomplete woman without a baby`` talks made me question their self-esteem, sense of security and integrity. as it turned out, i started keeping a good distance from them.

what i lost in this process, was an opportunity to enter into the world of the women who WANT to have a baby and understand it from thier perspective... i think i stopped listening, passed judgements, and nurtured biased opinions regarding these women.

the conversations here then, are a re-visiting for me. dear dee, i may not understand your heartfelt desire to have a baby. but will certainly try and be not judgemental and biased towards you and other women like you.

also, was curious to know - why do you want to adopt a baby from pakistan?