Deranged Arranged Marriages I think this whole debate whether arranged marraige is better or love (whatever that is) is just too overrated. Because once you`re married, its all the same. Love goes out the window because you are too busy trying to adjust to everything all at once. Most of all you have to get used to each other. I know, because I dated the man I married for 10 years on and off and have been married for 2. AND YET he still surprises me. There are times when I think ``WHO is this monster?`` because he sounds nothing like the man i knew. But then he is sure I`m schizo. So we all have our moments. There is a hell of a difference b/w seeing each other every single day for 5 years and talking on the phone etc etc and actually having to wake up next to the same person EVERY single day. Desi parents will always be the same. Just have fun with it. In the end, the decision is one`s own. I mean, unless the man is a spoonfed little puppy who cannot even make the decision of what to wear unless mummy says what to wear, he should be able to make up his mind about what kind of a woman he wants. And belive it or not, arranged marraiges do work. Alot of them do anyway. But nowadays its more like like/arranged/sort of know kinda marraiges. My parents have been married for 35 years and yes they are happy because they still talk to each other without getting ready to kill one another. And yeh they even joke and laugh together. After 35 years, i`d say thats an achievement considering they had`nt seen each other untill the wedding day! Now that doesnt happen always. You will never find EXACTLY what you`re looking for, but you might get lucky and find someone similar to your dream woman/man. It is just a matter of perception. I do not think one should rely on parents for such a decision but one should not also disregard their opnions or concerns. Afterall, they are wiser and I believe as long as they do not impose their choice/views on us, they can actually give sound advice. And there is no shame in following that advice, no matter how westernized one gets.

A Fobby Love Story Quote (I`ve interacted with a number of girls here and they just can`t laugh at themself; to them it`s always a matter of respect and insult. Why?? Can`t you girls cool down a litle, light up a little and for heaven`s sake spare the attitude) Unquote

WHAT are you talking about? I wish you would stop generalizing about us ABCD`s and CBCD`s and EBCD`s etc etc The point is We are CD`s. Regardless of whether we are born in Pakistan, brought up in a Muhalla in Gulshan-e-Iqbal or Sea View. Or raised abroad. I agree with Jiyakhan to a certain extent. I do not think all pakistani kids back home behave in this manner but you cannot deny the craziness that is now part of their lives. I feel more desi when I go back and hang out with these people. They are like us only 100 times worse. They are promiscious like its going out of style. Drugs sex and alcohol are a regular part of their partying lifestyle. Gone are the days of peeking into windows to catch a glimpse of the love of your life, crank calling her at odd hours and playing a love song really loud just so she can hear you. Its more like, meet at a the most dimly lit cafe and random making out time in Pakistan. People and especially Mothers who belive they can go back to pakistan to find `shareef` ``gharayloo`` desi brides for their US graduate Jaan kay tukray are gravely mistaken. Coz there is`nt much sharafat laft back home either. Just do with what you got and Pray for the best. Otherwise, there is always divorce. That too is now common at the drop of a hat.

Temporary Marriage in Islam Ok I just want to say I have`nt read books or done any research on the above topic. However, I`m going to use whatever It is that I do know about the topic and common sense to say what I have to say...
First of all, in response to the writer quoted , ``Darabi``.... what needs to be understood is that the reason why a man has to go through hell and back in order to remarry the woman he divorced in the first place.. is to DISCOURAGE divorce.. NOT to `victimize` the woman. If a man can be stupid enough to divorce his wife at the drop of a hat and she`s dumb enough to go back to an idiot like that, then they both deserve what they get i.e .. he has to live with the knowledge that she slept with another man (we all know how bad a blow that would be to his ego) and she has to go through the trouble of finding this OTHER man.. possibly lying to him about her intentions.. marrying him and divorcing him ... and THEN eventually marrying the man she wanted to in the first place.. WHO wants to go through that?? That would totally stress ME out .. Id rather just dump his a$$ and move on.
Secondly, I certainly don`t know EVERYTHING about `Mutah`.. however, ``mutah`.. does NOT exist for the common horndog/b!tch to use to his/her advantage. It came into existence for a reason. And that reason was to give a respectable name to the relationships that were formed b.w soldiers and the women they met during wartime. Men would be gone for months and years at a time. Instead of forming random relationships with different women,(lets face it -- There probably are`nt many men who would wait to go back to their wives --after years at a time to get laid) it was preferred they marry these women temporarily and support them and the children they have with these women.
There is No denying there are people that would take advantage of the situation and use it as an excuse to get what they want.. but the same could potentially happen with ( if i may use the term) -- `permanent` marraiges too... There are so many men with multiple wives.... all in the name of Islam. The concept of multiple wives ALSO came into existence for a reason. It was necessary to discourage inappropriate behaviour towards the widows and orphaned women that were left homeless and had noone to take care of them. They could`nt just go out and work and start making a living like we do. The only job I suspect that would`ve been available at the time would be prostitution.
So please, easy on the `victimizing` women issue ... concerning `mutah` atleast ... No respectable parent in todays day and age would offer their daughter up for ``mutah` to ANYONE.....
Again Im not the authority on this stuff ,but I just wanted to add my two cents worth of an opinion. So dont all jump me at once with angry responses.