Se Agapo
two words for you ... Black puj?
kher, past the masti, honest effort there. liked the drawing in, liked the flashback and memory.
critique ... you need to develop some variety in the way snippets are weaved in. i.e. ``Another habit of Mamajani’s`` ...
also, i like the whole make one character larger the life, give them a universal title ... great till here ... then ``Mamajaani`` somewhat brings to the Moltifoam add .. ``papajaani`` to mind.
but i like it, im hooked and want to read more!
brilliance
Posted by
HNH
Oct 15, 2006 02:05 pm
hello bosstwo words for you ... Black puj?
kher, past the masti, honest effort there. liked the drawing in, liked the flashback and memory.
critique ... you need to develop some variety in the way snippets are weaved in. i.e. ``Another habit of Mamajani’s`` ...
also, i like the whole make one character larger the life, give them a universal title ... great till here ... then ``Mamajaani`` somewhat brings to the Moltifoam add .. ``papajaani`` to mind.
but i like it, im hooked and want to read more!
brilliance
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