Uzma Rizvi June 24, 1999
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A slip of paper falls to the floor
slicing the air
waking me up.
Cold sweat and clammy hands,
still dreaming,
I grapple with a pretense of reality.
Leaving the dilapidated mattress
soaked in last nights mares
I step onto cool marble
A few steps to the window
to the night - to the stars
clutching
my reality to my chest
The night air is still
and heavy with the scent of hibiscus
I close my eyes begging to be awakened.
A slight breeze lifts
and falls immediately
leaving me with nothing more or less
My pulse quickens
I hear a noise outside my door
a quick look and a decision to ignore it.
I cannot hear the scratching sounds made at my door.
I do not want to know what or who is outside.
I will not open the door.
Is it fear?
Is it the unknown?
Perhaps it is opportunity...
Unwillingly I find my head against the door
weighing options
feeling the coolness through the wood.
I know there is nothing outside
a void, empty space
just there to be filled.
I look down at my reality.
I close my eyes
recognize my nightmare.
I turn to lean against the door.
the room is bare.
there is no bed, there are no windows.
There is nothing
but a door
and my grasp on reality.
The door opens.
I stand on the threshold.
there is nothing ahead of me, nothing behind.
What would it mean to take a step either way?
A slip of paper falls to the floor
slicing the air
waking me up.
slicing the air
waking me up.
Cold sweat and clammy hands,
still dreaming,
I grapple with a pretense of reality.
Leaving the dilapidated mattress
soaked in last nights mares
I step onto cool marble
A few steps to the window
to the night - to the stars
clutching
The night air is still
and heavy with the scent of hibiscus
I close my eyes begging to be awakened.
A slight breeze lifts
and falls immediately
leaving me with nothing more or less
My pulse quickens
I hear a noise outside my door
a quick look and a decision to ignore it.
I cannot hear the scratching sounds made at my door.
I do not want to know what or who is outside.
I will not open the door.
Is it fear?
Is it the unknown?
Perhaps it is opportunity...
Unwillingly I find my head against the door
weighing options
feeling the coolness through the wood.
I know there is nothing outside
a void, empty space
just there to be filled.
I look down at my reality.
I close my eyes
recognize my nightmare.
I turn to lean against the door.
the room is bare.
there is no bed, there are no windows.
There is nothing
but a door
and my grasp on reality.
The door opens.
I stand on the threshold.
there is nothing ahead of me, nothing behind.
What would it mean to take a step either way?
A slip of paper falls to the floor
slicing the air
waking me up.
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